The Promise
by ryiah03
Summary: Three words, two girls and one past. Two hearts ruled by passion and one promise that intertwined their fates. What happens when they finally meet again?
1. Beautiful Girl

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or any other materials I will use for this fic. Don't sue, okay? Also, I own all mistakes from here on.**

**A/N 1: Okay, so this just kept popping up in my head. It sort of told me that nothing will get done if I don't write this. So, here I am, writing angst. This will only be 3 or 4 chapters. I just need to get it out.**

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><p>"Maybe our favorite quotations say more about us than about the stories and people we're quoting." – John Green<p>

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><p><strong>Chapter 1<strong>

Rachel Berry sighed as she looked out of the noisy Manhattan bar. Why did she agree to do this again? Oh, right. Because they've just finished the opening performance of an off-Broadway production of Evita. Her cast mates are talking animatedly with each other while she just sat there and stared. Ever since rehearsals, they've been pestering the 25-yr. old diva to come with them. And so here she is, nursing a barely touched margarita, mind flying off somewhere in space.

She continued to stare outside the window and carry on her people watching pastime at the moment. There were teenagers laughing. Their lively giggles and chuckles momentarily made its way to the crowded bar when the door opened to accommodate new customers. She caught a glimpse of a couple making out beneath the street lights. The diva sighed. It's as if the pair's intensity penetrated the glass barriers to strangle Rachel's breathing. And then she saw two kids. One blonde, the other brunette. They swayed their clasped hands together, basking in the joy of it all.

Rachel's heart started to beat faster. Faster and faster with every rhythmic motion of the kids' hands. Swish. She imagines the sound as the hands went down. Swoosh, when the hands go up. Just like that. Swish. Swoosh. Their movements oddly hypnotizing the young singer, pulling her deeper into a trance. She closed her eyes as memories that were etched deep in her mind spurted out and rushed through her whole body.

Hazel and brown eyes meeting together. Pale and bronze melding together. Filmcuts. Snapshots. They assaulted her right there in the shadowy bar. She shook her head as if doing so will make the terrifyingly familiar memories go away.

Snap. Snap. Snap.

"Hey, Rach! Where'd you go this time?" She heard. And then laughter. It was the soft voice of her cast mate, Tina, that pulled her away from the almost dream.

"Oh, uhm, sorry? What were you guys talking about?" Rachel asked as she fumbled around her well-stocked vocabulary for a good enough excuse.

"Told you she's off somewhere." Her other cast mate, Blaine, sing-songed.

"I'm sorry guys. What were you saying?" The young diva said indifferently.

She's been caught too many times in the last few weeks with her mind floating off some unknown location to be embarrassed by it. It's not like she can help it. That date. The one that occurred exactly twelve years ago had been approaching her mercilessly. In fact, she only just agreed to come with them to try and take her mind off things that occurred at this exact date. Turns out, margaritas and half-ass singers don't do much for a distraction.

Santana, the bitchiest cast mate, spoke. "You see that croaking frog on the stage?"

Speaking of half-assed singers. Rachel turned her attention to the stage upfront. Bright lights adorned the raised platform. She couldn't say the same thing about the man's singing voice, though. If you could even call it singing. The Latina was right, croaking frog, indeed. But she was too tired to criticize, so she let it go.

She turned to Santana and answered, "I've heard worse. But what about him?"

Her Latina cast mate raised an eyebrow at the diva's statement. Since when did Rachel Berry, ultimate diva, let go of a chance to pass her judgement on a voice that is less than par? Much less, one that sounds frighteningly similar to that of a grunting monkey?

Before the Latina could formulate a retort, Blaine saved them from what could be a very lengthy stand-off. "Well, we want you to show Finn—" he gestured at the towering man beside the diva, "—that besides belting out Streissand or Lupone, you can also rock this bar."

Finn? Who's Finn? Ah, right. Finn, the lumbering oaf with a goofy grin that her cast mates introduced to Rachel in hopes of getting her a boyfriend. Not that she had anything against the guy, it's just really not a good time for a jolly green giant to be hitting on her.

She wanted to say no to the invitation. Just let it go, stay at the table, stay with your thoughts. She didn't like the ginormous thing, anyway. Why prove herself? Stay at the table, think of another set of arms and not the one haphazardly draped across her seat. But this is singing. And Rachel Berry just couldn't bring herself to pass any opportunity to perform in front of people. What if a Broadway scout sees her? That should boost her career. So, no, declining the challenge is not an option. Margaritas, giants, and memories be damned.

The petite brunette stood up, feeling the recollections of long ago wane momentarily. As she made her way to the waiting stage, the man 'performing' earlier was already making his way back amidst the snickering audience. It's a cruel world.

The singer pondered her song choice for a moment. Was it worth to sing the song in her mind right now? These people do not understand, and that song is sacred to her. But maybe, this could be a way for her to take it out. She decided to fuck it. She has to let it out. She needs to.

She told the band her song, and finally, she stood in full glory at the middle of the stage. She clutched the microphone in her slightly trembling hands, and poised herself to do what she was born to do. The opening notes wafted across the dimly lit bar. And when Rachel's tremulous voice rang out, it was complete silence.

**Woke today, another memory passes of you  
>Shades of grey from those three broken words<br>That unfold the truth but**

Even her cast mates stopped their loud cheering as the brunette's voice took their breaths away. They know that she's an extremely passionate singer. But they've never heard her sing this way before. In a voice full of contradictions that begged for an explanation to anyone who don't understand.

Even Finn's dopey grin was erased as the beautiful singer mesmerized everyone with her alluring melody. It was raw. It cannot have been caused by Rachel's 'years of training' she so lovingly reminds the people around her. No, this is something else. Something only borne by the deepest of emotions. Something buried deep and underneath all the diva show.

If anyone at that bar were to be asked to describe the moment, they wouldn't be able to. But they will say that it was hauntingly beautiful.

**I'll never forget those eyes, that beautiful smile  
>I still remember the way you said goodbye<br>No matter how hard I try I can't forget about**

Through the strong albeit quivering voice, they had a glimpse, an inkling of Rachel Berry's vulnerable moment. The emotions flowed freely from the brunette's face, almost too easily as if practised. Pain, longing, reminiscing, and some more pain struck the audience's vision. Hypnotizing, captivating them.

Onstage, as Rachel sang oblivious to the crowd's adoration, she's fighting to keep her unsteady lips from affecting the melody of the song. Her song. The song meant to be sung perfectly. Perfect, and nothing less. Sacred, secured, and revered.

**Beautiful girl  
>On top of the world<br>Don't fall down  
>Because an angel<br>Should never touch ground**

Beautiful girl. Her beautiful girl. Rachel closed her eyes as events of the past wakened by the song assailed her in full force. She tried to drive them away. Shove them as far from her as possible, and yet, hold them dearly against her heart. Run from it but love it. How could she do that? How do you treasure something that drowns you in pain?

But what can she do, really? The heart remembers more than the mind does. It always does, always will. And her heart remembers. Every shred of her being remembers that day. This same day, exactly twelve years ago. It's the same memory that had always chased her in her dreams. The one that comes to her even during waking moments.

She couldn't fight it anymore. It's as if an abyss opened up and swallowed her into a plethora of memories coming from the past. And she felt it again. A memory of a kiss, an embrace, and unnamed emotions at that time. She savoured them and welcomed the assault. Why not? Fighting it would only be in vain.

_Lima, Ohio. Exactly twelve years ago._

_A thirteen year old Rachel Berry drifted her gaze to the pink, perfect lips in front of her. She lifted her eyes and unsure brown orbs met with calming hazel ones._

"_Are we really going to do this?" Rachel's unsure yet excited voice rang across the tree house. Their tree house._

"_Why not? It's only a kiss. Just so you can have your first kiss before I kick the girls who always tease you about it." A sixteen year old Quinn Fabray answered in a soft voice. God, the brunette could just listen to that voice all day. Listen to Quinn. Yes, to the blonde beside her. Her angel._

_With that statement, so full of care and watchfulness, every shred of hesitation from the younger girl disappeared. She nodded her head and closed her eyes. An open invitation to the beautiful blonde in front of her. So she sat there, waiting for that connection. The glorified moment when—._

_And then she felt it. Her world shut down immediately, isolating her and Quinn in the little tree house up above the ground. Rachel couldn't feel anything but the blonde's soft lips moving against her in the sweetest of kisses. So faint yet it marked her, owned her, pulled her away from everything and anything._

_Rachel moaned when Quinn's tongue peeked out to take a tentative swipe across her lips. Slowly, the petite brunette opened her mouth as indescribable pleasure shot through her. How she knew to part her lips would forever be a mystery to her. Maybe it's instinct, something that is awakened only by carnal need and animalistic desire._

_Almost hesitantly, they broke apart when the need for air made itself known. As their lips parted, she felt Quinn kiss her softly once more. Maybe to cheat oxygen. Maybe as an act of defiance against nature's laws that human beings needed air to breathe. Maybe they just needed each other. A resounding 'fuck you' that echoed across the whole town._

**Last embrace, forcing you away before it's too late  
>I end this day in a most bitter way<br>A regretful state but**

Rachel opened her eyes to scan the audience. She saw their awed faces. She has always loved the limelight, the attention that her voice brought to her. But at that moment, she felt bared, too exposed. These people have never felt how she did with Quinn. She's sure. They've never felt passion so deep, it bypasses everything else, rendering anyone to feel complete yet missing. Their reactions say it all. The looks of praise and adoration don't matter. The questioning eyes as if saying 'where did this goddess come from?' don't matter. What she needs is understanding. Someone who also knows. Someone who's felt the way she did.

And she knows she can find those eyes on the ghost of the past. And so she thrusts herself deeper into the memories of yesteryear, finding comfort in the hazel eyes she's never learned to forget.

**I'll never forget those eyes, that beautiful smile  
>I still remember the way you said goodbye<br>No matter how hard I try I can't forget about**

"_Wow." It was the only thing that escaped the still parted lips of the usually verbose girl._

_Quinn smiled at the young girl's reaction. Before the blonde could say anything, Rachel pulled her in for another kiss._

_The second kiss they shared was unlike that of the first. It was neither faint nor unsure. Neither was it tentative nor slow. No, it was something made of pure passion. Tongues clashed altogether as desires coursed through both girls' bodies. Rachel welcomed the sensations with eyes shut tightly. It made her forget everything else. She embraced the tingling feeling that ran through her as two pairs of lips moved together as if to fit each other. Everything and nothing passed her young mind, waking it, making her body want to feel things. Those things that she has never even considered before. One delicious moment that shook her whole being as a dull ache settled between her legs._

_The tall blonde pulled away and the other girl almost whimpered in protest, but stopped when she felt hot lips nipping on her pulse point. She moaned again, louder this time. She proceeded to pull at blonde tresses, urging Quinn closer, trying to combine them as one._

_Small hands started to move unconsciously against smooth, pale skin. The temperature rose to a fever pitch as another pair of hands went to massage bronze skin. Everything the brunette felt was drowned by hot skins meeting together. It made her melt and lose all inhibitions. She started to pull Quinn's top, begging the blonde to take her to places no one has ever been before._

_At that moment, the tall girl stopped. And the brunette let out a whimper of protest._

"_Why did you stop?" Rachel's pouting voice rang across their tree house._

"_Rachel, no. We've already gone too far than we should have had." Quinn's voice almost sounded pained. As if she was holding on to every little bit of control she has left._

"_Why? I want this."_

_The taller girl ran her hands through blonde locks. She looked at Rachel. She plead with her eyes for the younger girl to stop saying things that make her lose the sanity she was holding on to._

"_You're thirteen," the blonde said in another futile attempt to stop the inevitable. A last struggle to make both of them listen to the voice of reason._

_It is wrong. What they're doing is wrong according to society's standards. Wrong in every sense of Lima fucking Ohio's bigotry. But who can prove that this is not meant to happen? Who can play god?_

_Rachel didn't answer. Instead, she started removing her own top. Inch by merciless inch as Quinn sat there motionless and wide-eyed. Hazel eyes blazed with unknown hunger. The taller girl let out a sound that can only be described as a cry of need when Rachel was bared in front of her. The blonde's eyes feasted on the ample bosom staring at her, taunting her to resist._

_The hazel-eyed beauty sat there. A frozen statue staring at a bronze-skinned goddess. When Quinn made no move, the goddess took the blonde's hands and put it tenderly against her chest._

_The reaction was instant. Hearts beat again. Blood pumped. And everything started working once more. Quinn's pale hands trembled as she took in the meeting of white and bronze. Rachel shivered at the warmth of the hand now voluntarily covering her chest._

_And Rachel said the words that completely shattered the barriers left in Quinn's mind. In an almost whisper, she said,_"_I want this Quinn. I want you."_

**Beautiful girl  
>On top of the world<br>Don't fall down  
>Because an angel<br>Should never touch ground**

_Hazel and brown. Pale and tan. Tall and short. Beautiful indeed. A stunning, picturesque combination of two magnificent humans._

_The intensity increased as Rachel's plea demolished the last of Quinn's resolve. She growled ferociously and started to attack the brunette's lips with renewed fervour. This time, hazel and brown didn't meet. Instead, two blown irises stared at each other in a look of pure, unadulterated hunger._

_The tall blonde started nipping, licking and sucking the brunette's breasts. She purposely avoided the pinkish, stiff buds until they were rock hard. And when she made a tentative lick, Rachel moaned at the sweetness of the action._

"_Oh, god, Quinn."_

_The younger girl's shouts and groans urged the taller girl on. She started moving south, kissing every glorious inch of the heated tan skin. Her lips touched every surface of smooth, soft skin. Loving it. Worshipping it. Leaving a trail of rising heat on the brunette's taut body._

_When Quinn reached the waistband of Rachel's shorts, she started darting her tongue left and right. Up and down, making the brunette under her wreathe in absolute pleasure. Finally, she started sliding the small piece of clothing, dragging it along with the smaller girl's pink underwear. She teased the petite girl's heated center, making her arch off the blanket covered floor._

"_Mmm...Q...that...oh" Rachel's thoughts were incoherent. She knows what's about to happen, but she doesn't seem to care that she's about to lose her virginity. Her innocence that she promised to keep until she was twenty five._

**Here I lay, I drift away, you come in and lay beside me  
>It's got to be a memory that feels so real but just beyond me<strong>

Rachel opened her eyes once more to see the audience completely entranced with her performance. But for the young singer, this is not just a mere performance. This is her heart's treasure. She remembers the promise she made herself when she was still a kid. To give herself to someone when she reached twenty five. Funny that now that she's come to the right age, she's remembering how she broke that promise.

_Quinn began planting soft kisses on the brunette's inner thigh that sent jolts of shivers up Rachel's body. She's never experienced anything like this before. Every kiss is like a step in a sensual dance, making her heart flutter with every faint move._

_The blonde placed one last chaste kiss to the young girl's hip bone and made her way up so that she can see Rachel. Their bodies flushed together as they fit into one another perfectly—almost like a puzzle that's just been waiting to be solved._

_Hazel eyes got closer to brown orbs as the girl above Rachel leaned down for a kiss of two swollen lips. Their tongues danced together slowly. Building up the passion, making way for the ever growing fire to grow even stronger. They ran their hands on each other's sides, exploring each other delicately. Carefully, so as not to disturb the delicate bubble they have found themselves in._

_Quinn sat up to discard her clothing. Rachel laid beneath her, awestruck at the flawlessness of the white beauty above her. The brunette's small fingers found their way down to stroke the taller girl's toned abdomen, marvelling at the strength it seemed to possess. When Quinn's slender fingers quickly pulled down on the elastic of her underwear, they both hissed as two cores exchanged heat._

_Rachel felt the blonde easing her way back on top of the smaller girl. This time, gently stroking the brunette's center. She explored the damp folds that were slightly covered with barely there curls. The smaller girl saw how the blonde's face morphed into full concentration as she stared at Rachel's slit. Hazel eyes looked deep into the ones beneath her, asking if it was okay. Was Rachel ready to give up something she can only give once? Did she really want to spend this moment with Quinn?_

_The thirteen year old girl had never been surer of anything in her entire life that was ruled by goals, plans, and career milestones. This is not just certainty, this is a fact of life. Some call it destiny, fate, or happenstance. But Rachel doesn't know which to pick, so it became an unnameable emotion for her._

_She nodded her head slowly, not breaking their gaze. The answer is yes, Quinn Fabray. The answer is yes. Both girls never realized that the answer did not just pertain to that fateful encounter. It will be an utterance of a lot of other yeses. It will be an answer that will both rule and intertwine their lives._

_Quinn slowly eased her finger to the swollen center. She pushed, not forcefully so as not to hurt, yet still intensely enough to convey her anticipation. Rachel felt the blonde's slender digit enter her slowly. It tore her, yet it also opened her to a lot more. She felt the first inkling of pain when Quinn's finger was stopped by a barrier. The same one that will connect them completely._

_Rachel saw only concern at the blonde's face, and it spurred her to encourage Quinn to continue. The small girl reached up to stroke Quinn's face, her cheekbones, trailing small fingers to the soft lips. She then reached to pull the girl above her for a lingering kiss. It was a kiss that almost begs, but also gives._

"_Quinn, please. Baby…please…"_

_Hearing the unprecedented endearment seemed to push the blonde further, crossing that one last resistance to completely making Rachel hers. Stray tears that escaped Rachel's eyes were kissed tenderly by the taller girl. It's as if she was trying to make up for all the pain that was being experienced by Rachel. The feather-light kisses acted as another promise. A promise that things would feel better, they need only wait. It was a promise that after the sting, pleasure will rush through._

_And true enough, after the initial ache, Rachel slowly felt an overwhelming sensation that's overpowering her whole body. As the blonde's fingers moved ever so slowly, she felt a tingling feeling inside of her. Where Quinn moved, unfathomable pleasure ensued._

_In. Out. In. Out. Just like that. Such a simple movement, but it causes electricity travel up and down each girl's spine. Rachel, because of the long, slender finger moving inside her, reaching into her where no one had ever wandered before. Quinn, because of the hot, wet give of the girl beneath her and the knowledge that she can make the brunette produce all those beautiful sounds and faces._

_Quinn started going faster, upping the pace and making the small girl chant her name like she needs it to breathe. Rachel held tightly to the subtly muscled shoulders on top of her, holding on to keep herself from being blown away by fiery hazel eyes. She felt the blonde's own wetness pooling on her thigh as Quinnn rocked slowly with Rachel. The tall girl groaned loudly when the brunette pressed her small thighs on the blonde's stiff bud. Another finger made its way inside Rachel and the brunette threw her head back as she felt those two digits stretching her._

_Quinn looked down on the brunette's face. She saw the young diva's face had beads of sweat running across. She started to nip them, tasting more of the younger girl. _

"_I'm so close," Quinn whispered. "Come for me, baby. Come with me, Rach."_

_With that statement uttered in the sexiest tone she's ever heard from the blonde, Rachel shattered. She wailed as blinding light shot through her consciousness, temporarily sending her floating, with no care in the world. She vaguely felt Quinn pressing down harder to her thighs and convulsing, wetness trickling down both their sweaty bodies._

**Mesmerized, in you I find what I had was unrealized but  
>Emptiness settles in as I awake<strong>

The singer opened her eyes, she fought valiantly to keep the tears pooling in her eyes from spilling. To shed them in front of these people is not an option. Her tears are for Quinn and her only. Other people need not see it. The pain in her chest and the knotting in her stomach are becoming too intense as she recounted the day that made her lose a lot of things. Her virginity, her innocence, her Quinn.

_In post-orgasmic haze, the two girls lying side by side, playing with each other's fingers fell asleep. They were tangled in each other, legs intertwined together in an embrace that not even the future could come between. Their bodies glistened with sweat, almost glowing when the setting sun got caught in the window of their tree house. The tree house that was made witness of it all, the one that heard everything and felt their cries of passion._

_And in their bliss, they did not hear loud voices calling their names. They did not hear the angry mutterings below the tree house where dark has fallen. How cruel, if only the birds had warned them, maybe everything could have been avoided. But no, life has to be unfair, it is as nature dictates. So they did not pull away from each other or cover their naked bodies when thundering footsteps hurriedly climbed at the large tree house._

_The only time they sensed it was when two adults grabbed each of them violently and pulled them away from each other. Only then did their eyes open to survey their surroundings. Only then did their eyes widen in realization of the big mess they got themselves in._

"_Quinn! What is this?" Russell Fabray's booming voice echoed in the small tree house as he yanked his daughter away from the small brunette. The blonde in question couldn't answer as she took in her father's red face and shaking hands. She had never seen him in such rage. And now, she's terrified._

"_Dad…I…" A hard slap stung her across the face, and tears spilled down her reddened cheeks._

_On the other side of the now seemingly small space, another father and daughter are dealing with the situation._

"_Rae, baby, what…why? Did she force you into this?" The rising voice of Leroy Berry wiped the last remnants of sleep on Rachel's face. She was petrified in her place as she hugged the jacket her father wrapped her in. Leroy's face was hardened and his face was a mix of confused, angry, and disappointed._

"_No…daddy…Quinn and I…" She broke into tears and hugged her already crying father. Rachel tried to convey in the embrace that she had wanted this, but that she couldn't bear him looking at her in disappointment._

"_How dare you associate with these faggots! How could you do this to our family, Quinn?" Russell shouted to his daughter. Before she could answer, he marched towards the two hugging forms on the other side and disentangled Leroy from his daughter._

"_You're an abomination! And now you're daughter has tainted my daughter with your family's sins!" He said and swung his fist to connect it with Leroy's jaw. The smaller man staggered backward as he felt the punch sting his face. Russell turned his attention to the small girl's shaking frame. He was like an animal catching scent of a prey's blood. He took a menacing step in front of her to reach out but before he could touch the brunette, his own daughter stepped in front of them to shield Rachel._

"_No, dad. This is my fault. Don't hurt her." Quinn said. Fear is still in her eyes, but the determination to protect the girl who was in her arms just moments ago was also visible. Russell emitted a howl of rage, he tried to strike, but Quinn used herself to block it, sending her own body to the floor. She winced in pain, but stood up, determination untouched._

_It was then that Rachel felt her own father carrying her to go down from the tree house. She tried to pull away, but Leroy's grip is strong and she was just a small, scared, little girl._

"_Quinn!" She cried, tears already blurring her vision as she tried to take one last look at the blonde who made her feel everything. She tried to escape her father's arms, trying to go back to Quinn. She outstretched her arms to reach out. But before Quinn could take it, Russell struck the blonde once more and sent her to the floor, clutching her stomach this time._

"_We are leaving, Rachel! I'm not letting you stay!" Her father's voice was clear, a force that cannot be argued with._

"_Rachel…" She heard the blonde's weak voice, and she fought to take one last look at the hazel eyes that contained so much emotion. It felt forever when their eyes connected, trying to convey every single thing they couldn't say. With the look they shared, they knew what each other were saying. It didn't matter that Quinn was being hit by her father repeatedly. It didn't matter that Rachel was being taken away unwillingly. That last look contained every single promise to each other. A promise to treasure each other, a promise that they will meet again. And when they do, it will be their time, no one can come between._

"_Rachel…" She heard again, more faintly, as her father descended the stairs of the tree house. "I will find you, Rachel. Wait for me." Rachel closed her eyes as she felt the plea in Quinn's voice. It was not the same ones when they were making love, it was one borne by pain. She felt as if her body was being torn apart as she heard the suffering in the blonde's faint voice. She knows that she feels the same thing._

"_Remember that. Wait for me, Rachel." Quinn's voice was now hard to hear as they neared the ground. The small girl stopped struggling from her father and used all of her consciousness to strain to hear Quinn's voice. And then she heard it, the words that made all the difference in her life._

"_I will look for you, I promise. Rachel, I love you."_

_With those words, the young girl broke into uncontrollable sobs. Pain and anguish wracked her whole body. As they reached the ground, she also felt all the high from being with Quinn fall with them. Still being carried tightly by her father, she looked up once more to the tree house. She could still hear Quinn shouting her name faintly. She hears her lover's cries of pain and the thud of Russell hitting his daughter._

_And she felt as if a part of her heart tore. Pieces of her soul escaped to leave pieces on the ground beneath and the trees above. Some planted themselves into Russell's icy heart shouting threats to them. Some flew to the tree house that just kept silent. Some were sprinkled across the town of Lima, Ohio as the Berrys car sped away from the cursed place. But most of it, a significant part, was left on the blonde with hazel eyes. It was left with Quinn, along with the promise that maybe someday, they will meet again._

**Beautiful Girl  
>On top of the world<br>Don't fall down**

The brunette opened her eyes to scan the audience once more. She's crying now, everything became too much. And even her 'cry on command' ability cannot be accessed. Her eyes darted from left to right, searching for someone who understands, anyone. As she prepared to finish the song, her eyes caught something at the back of the crowded bar.

She saw blonde hair and her heart started to hammer in her chest. She knows a lot of blondes, but what does this one hold that her body is reacting differently? Could this be it? Twelve years after that day, could she finally collect the fulfilment of a promise she's held on for too long. Rachel didn't want to get her hopes up only to be slammed back down.

She focused her eyes at the woman. And then her eyes locked with hazel ones. The same hazel eyes that she would recognize anywhere.

**Because an angel  
>Should never touch ground<strong>

Her breath hitched after the last word. And she whispered ever so quietly. It's too low to be heard by the crowd who broke into a thundering applause as soon as she finished her song. It's too soft for anyone who doesn't understand. But two people in that bar heard. Amidst the roaring crowd, two hearts heard. Rachel and the blonde with the hazel eyes at the back of the crowd.

"Quinn."

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><p><strong>AN 2: So, now that I wrote this, my other fic's update will be up in a few hours or maybe a day at the latest. Please review, they make me smile. I don't know if I should continue this or not. I'm still on the fence since the ending can sort of go on with itself if you guys are optimistic. Just, tell me if you're interested and don't just be a lurker, okay?**

**A/N 3: Song is "Beautiful Girl" by Broken Iris. It's a really good song, you guys should check it out.**


	2. Temptation

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or any other materials I will use for this fic. Don't sue, okay? Also, I own all mistakes from here on.**

**A/N 1: Sorry this took longer than I expected, I hit a few roadblocks while writing this. And my other fic. is in a standstill. And I'm feeling down. And you should read now. I hope it's worth the wait!**

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><p>"What is an 'instant' death anyway? How long is an instant? Is it one second? Ten? The pain of those seconds must have been awful as her heart burst and her lungs collapsed and there was no air and no blood to her brain and only raw panic. What the hell is instant? Nothing is instant. Instant rice takes five minutes, instant pudding an hour. I doubt that an instant of blinding pain feels particularly instantaneous." – John Green<p>

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><p><strong>Chapter 2<strong>

Rachel's gaze fell on the blonde sleeping beside her. The last time they were together, angry voices have interrupted their sleep. Now, it was just the soft music of the hotel room lulling them to slumber. The small brunette listened to the lax melody wafting across the expensive room. This, right now, is full of contrast from their past.

She listened quietly to Quinn's soft breathing. She almost reached to the woman beside her but stopped herself. Just almost. So close, yet so far. This woman, wandering through her dream land beside her, is the same girl she has loved for exactly twelve years and a day. If you asked her a day ago, she would say that it was wonderful. You know, loving someone, waiting for someone—even if it took twelve years. Now, though, as streaks of sunlight poured through the still closed curtains, she wouldn't know what to say.

The singer listened to the soft lyrics encompassing the whole room. Strange that last night, a song brought her back to her lost love. Also strange that while she lay beside the woman she's waited for forever, another song watches over them.

**Heaven,  
>A gateway, a hope<br>Just like a feeling  
>I need, it's no joke<strong>

Hope. Yes, Rachel needs it. How did it all boil down to this? Twelve fucking years of waiting. On the twelfth year, she delivers her first stage performance in the city of dreams. On the twelfth year, she rocks a whole bar. On the twelfth year, there was magic in her voice that brought hope, joy, life and all the yada-yada wonderful shit to people listening to her. But why couldn't she have it? For once, why couldn't she reach for something that is right in front of her?

When she saw Quinn at the back of the bar, enraptured with her performance, she felt a multitude of emotions. One of them was asking if this was real. Or maybe if she was in heaven, perhaps?

As Moby's music lit up the whole room, she closed her eyes. No, she couldn't look at the woman beside her. The memories of last night, the memories of her Quinn, the memories of this morning, they just couldn't go together. If they were to meld, she would lose her grip.

_Twelve hours ago._

"_Quinn."_

_Rachel's head was spinning, but it didn't stop her from going down the platform. She hears her cast mates' loud cheering. When she passed her table, she hears them shouting her name._

"_Rachel! That was great!"_

"_Damn, midget! You really have it in you!"_

"_Rach, the crowd is in awe!"_

_If it was a normal night, she would have basked in the glory of people chanting her name, shouting praises to her. But when faced with Quinn, they all fade in the background. Forgotten. Meaningless._

_No. She didn't heed them any attention. The small singer bypassed the overjoyed table of her cast. Fully focused, eyes locked with the blonde at the end of the bar. It was like a walk down memory lane. Too many people to shove just to get to her Quinn. Too many tables, bodies, voices in the way. It couldn't have been more than a few feet, but it felt like forever._

_And then she reached the blonde with hazel eyes. Her Quinn. The fulfilment of a dream she's had for more than a decade._

"_Quinn."_

_Just like old times, hazel met brown._

"_Quinn." She repeats._

_The woman smiled at her. It's not the same soft smile she's used to. More like the green with brown flecks was giving her an amused expression. Red, full lips curled up in a smirk?_

Rachel was pulled out from her reverie when the blonde beside her stirred, murmuring something. The brunette held her breath to see if the woman was going to wake up. And when she didn't, she let out oxygen she's been holding.

Moby's song pulled her back to the decrepit bar. The one where she was brought back twelve years into the past. The one that woke up the thirteen-year old child hiding under all her diva tendencies. The one she's remembering now, twelve hours later. The one where cigarette smoke and soft mutterings betrayed her most precious memory.

**And though it hurts me,  
>To see you this way<br>Betrayed by words,  
>I'd never heard,<br>Too hard to say them**

"_Yes?"_

_A one word question that came from the blonde woman was all it took to shatter all of Rachel. But she's a Berry. And they never give up. Not on the first try. Call it persistence. Hell, she used to call it determination. Now, she has another name for it._

_Stupidity._

"_I…it's me. Rachel."_

"_It's you, Rachel."_

_When the blonde spoke, it was a mix of amusement and mocking. And with every curl of her lip, Rachel's interior broke just a little bit more._

"_Don't you remember?"_

"_Well, seeing as you obviously remember me, why don't you refresh my memory?"_

_Arrogant. Indifferent. Cold._

_How is this Quinn? This is not her. But this is her! Blonde. Hazel eyes. Smooth, pale complexion. Somehow, she looked the same. Rachel had those eyes, those lips engrained in her memory. Her beautiful girl, remember? How does the woman in front of her not remember?_

"_Hey, Rach, mind introducing us to your friend?"_

_Lost in her deep thought, the young brunette did not notice Santana coming. Or Blaine. Or Finn. Or any of her other cast mates. And just like that, her bubble was popped. The magic drifted away. Voices, cigarette smoke, beer, and another half-assed singer clouded her senses._

_The singer fumbled with her words. How exactly do you tell your friends, 'Hey, this is Quinn. She was my first friend, first best friend, first kiss, first time. First and only love. But apparently, she doesn't remember.'?_

**Oh, up, down, turn around, please don't let me hit the ground  
>Tonight I think I'll walk alone, find my soul as I go home<strong>

Rachel looked around for her scattered clothes. The room was masked with the scent of sex and lust. Abundance of the night's activities lingered in the expensive room. So very different from what they woke up to twelve years ago. Last time, they didn't have soft mattresses giving a misguiding sense of warmth. She grunted. No, definitely not. This is nothing compared to what happened when she was still thirteen.

Everything then was filled with love. Full of hesitation, yet filled with passion. Last night was just a bodily need. To satisfy an itch. Nothing more. Fucking cruel world.

She untangled the sheets slowly, careful not to wake the woman beside her. The singer didn't want to deal with the morning-after of this encounter. She just wants to forget. But why, fucking why? Why do ruthless memories keep on coming to her?

_Rachel tried to say something, anything. But besides the fact that she has no idea how to introduce the beautiful blonde, she knows it is more because of a lump that had made its way to her throat. It spread across her whole body, knotting her stomach where the margarita has settled, fracturing her heart where she kept the tattered memories of her and Quinn, and finally setting fire beneath quivering coffee brown orbs._

_Quinn saved her from her distress. The blonde smiled at the young singer's friends to introduce herself._

"_I'm Quinn. Quinn Fabray."_

_There was an assortment of reactions. Santana raised her brow. Blaine smiled. Rachel's other cast mates either nodded, said hi, or waved. And Finn still had his goofy smile._

"_So, Quinn," Santana spoke first, "how exactly do you know our little estrellita here?"_

"_We were old acquaintances."_

_Acquaintances. Old? Yes. But acquaintances? No! They were much more than that! Why does Quinn not remember? Why? Did she wait for nothing? Was she the only one lingering in the past? How could she be that naïve?_

_But because she was Rachel, and because she was a little bit stupid on the side when it comes to matters of the heart, she tried once more. Because this is Quinn, her beautiful girl, we're talking about. She couldn't just give up. She will make her remember. But through the brave front she was putting up, she's panicking inside. She felt nauseous. But she needed to try. Just one more time. For her, for Quinn. So she continued, as if nobody was around._

_The brunette closed her eyes, and tried to wrap them in the quietness of the tree house in the middle of a bustling Manhattan bar._

"_Lima, Ohio. Exactly twelve years ago. Two teenage girls. They loved each other, they promised to wait for each other."_

_Her cast mates gawked at her. As if asking whether the margarita has shoot up to her head. And Finn was still wearing his dopey smile. But she saw none of it. She just looked at the blonde in front of her, waiting for any sign of recognition. _

_When she saw stoic, she continued, "I will look for you, I promise, I love you… Those were the words."_

_Quinn laughed. Loudly but devoid of humor. The blonde shook her head and sputtered out, "Are you serious?" Hazel eyes fluttered mirthlessly, "You just don't use teenager and love in the same sentence." Quinn's lips curled into a smirk, a cruel teasing._

"_It's stupid," she finally added._

**Up, down, turn around, please don't let me hit the ground  
>Tonight I think I'll walk alone, find my soul as I go home<strong>

Rachel found her sheer black lacy panties and hurriedly put them on. Tears cascaded down her right cheek. The left followed afterwards. But she didn't notice. She just tasted the salty mixture mixed with bitterness burning her lips. With trembling hands, she started to put on her matching bra. But before she could, heart-wrenching sobs threatened to escape.

So she sat down, on the soft couch across the bed. She held her black bra to her mouth to muffle the sound that was about to escape her. A cry of someone being strangled in the depths of pain flowed out of her small mouth. She tried to compose herself. Maybe not to stop the tears, but to at least cry in quiet. Release anguish in the most silent way. Sobs may not have seeped out of her, but she feels agonizing stabs to her heart. Breaking her, rendering her helpless to the onslaught of memories from the night before.

_From a heartbroken girl, to an overjoyed woman. From the ecstatic woman to the determined girl. And from that persistent girl, came stupidity. Just idiocy. And from the foolishness, anger was borne._

_Rachel Berry clenched her petite hands into fists. If Quinn insisted on not remembering, then she will give this arrogant blonde in front of her another thing to remember. She sees the way Quinn looks at her. The way the hazel eyes traced her long tan legs. The way her cold, hard eyes fell on the cleavage she's showing. Rachel saw it all. The woman in front of her is attracted, if anything._

"_Well, Quinn, would you like to join us?" Blaine, ever the savior of awkward conversations, came to the rescue._

_The blonde shrugged. She did a once over of the cast in front of her and beckoned them to lead the way. Of the exchange, the young singer never once took her eyes from Quinn. And the blonde also spared her glances from time to time. Some of derision, most of lust, and one of questioning._

_The tall blonde seated with the cast, beside Rachel. And the diva could feel it. She could feel hunger coming from Quinn. It was a push and pull. Just like any other feeling before two people fuck each other mindless. She could feel tension from Blaine and Santana. Like they were watching out for her. Funny. Others were oblivious. On Rachel's right, Finn still had his grabby paws slung across her seat._

She doesn't remember much after that. Or maybe, she just blocked the vision out. Quinn flirting with several beautiful women at the bar. With the waitress that sashayed to their table. Or with a half-assed singer who sounded like she was a dying pigeon. God forbid one ever hears of a dying pigeon.

But what was etched on the center of Rachel's brain where neurons were busy at work was when Quinn asked for her calling card.

Her calling card. She carefully tiptoed. It's silly because the carpet would have killed any sound she would make, but she tiptoed anyway. She rummaged through the blonde's clothes, desperate to find a piece of herself she was about to give away. Again. No, this time, she'll get it back.

Her vision was blurred as another wave of fresh, long-time coming tears rushed to her eyes. What an irony, if she ever made one.

**Oh it's the last time, oh it's the last time  
>Oh it's the last time, oh it's the last time<strong>

"_Can I have your number?" The blonde beside her whispered, sending electricity across her body._

_Twelve years ago, they had no name for it even if they tried to look for one. Now, she refused to even name it. She wants to loathe the feeling. But how do you forget twelve years of loving the same person? Of dreaming of the same girl who has apparently grew up into another woman? How?_

_Regardless, Rachel reached out for her bag and whipped out a gold-colored calling card. Maybe she was the only one who was tied by the shadows of the past. Maybe, she just needs to grow up and settle for the truth that her Quinn is no more._

_Her. Quinn. Is. No. More._

"_Wanna get out of here?" Quinn's light slur caught her._

_While looking at this blonde with hazel eyes, she questioned herself. Did she really love Quinn? Or was she holding on to a memory of long ago? Maybe she was in love with the idea of their great love. Maybe she wasn't._

_This night could have been glorious. A meeting of epic proportions. But instead, Quinn ridiculed her. She forgot. And called their story stupid. Called everything that made sense in her life stupid. What should she do? How does she react?_

_She decided to fuck Quinn Fabray._

**Each way I turn  
>I know I'll always try<br>To break the circle  
>That has been placed round me<strong>

She was imprisoned by the old her and the old Quinn. And now, she has to get out. No problem, if you ask her stupid persistence. But how exactly do you start to forget a girl whom you've waited for twelve years? The same girl who taunted you as a woman?

How do you deny to yourself the indescribable reaction that still overloaded your senses even as you fucked your lost love? Why is it that no matter what came out of Quinn's mouth, no matter how uncaring, Rachel still feels the same twinge in her heart? How does a person forget someone that is so much more than a memory?

How do you stop the person you love from turning the once awaited dreams into a miserable nightmare? How do you pick up the pieces? How do you stop the pain? Where do you start?

Questions. She was drowning in room full of questions. And a few feet from where she's sitting, Rachel visualizes the thirteen year old her. She sees the small girl watching her. Pity and sadness were in her eyes. But Rachel ignores her younger self, and the imagination blows itself away.

Memories of the past, the present assaulted her. She can start here. In this overpriced hotel that Quinn paid for them. Rented, just like their bodies. A night to fuck and nothing else. As she looked at the pale woman still sleeping in the bed, she seemed like the old Quinn for a split second. Blonde hair has enveloped her shoulders as it continued to fall down the expensive duvet. She was hugging a pillow tightly, comforters covering her nakedness.

For an agonizing second, Rachel let herself the guilty pleasure of imagining that they were not in a hotel room. That they were back in their tree house, where they would wake up and give each other shy smiles sprouted by the morning after. The brunette closed her eyes to force herself away from meaningless false hopes.

This isn't her Quinn.

She would try to erase them little by little. No matter how painful. She needs to wake up. And the hotel room with the soft hum of music, steady air conditioning, and extravagant furniture is a good place to start as any.

With that, Rachel clutched the gold calling card and tore it to unrecognizable pieces. Just like her. And she broke down, remembering how they fucked each other.

**From time to time  
>I find I lost<br>Some meaning  
>That was urgent<strong>

_Twelve years ago, the blonde gave her indescribable pleasure. But tonight will be Rachel's show. If Quinn fucking Fabray would insist on forgetting what happened in the tree house, she will give her something else to remember. No, not Rachel the timid, unexperienced girl. No. She will give her someone else. A woman who has grown through life's punishments. She will give Quinn Fabray the results of a damaged human being who held on to a broken promise._

_Skins stuck to each other as two bodies copulated under the dimly lit hotel room. Ambience. Atmosphere. Whatever. Rachel ignored everything else. She pushed the twitching in her chest. She dismissed the painful twisting in her stomach, regarding it as lust. She will fuck Quinn Fabray to oblivion._

_Ms. Rachel Berry will make sure that even if the woman beneath her refuses to acknowledge her existence, she will still remember the brunette. She will remember a brunette not with brown, shy eyes, but the one with black irises produced by lust. Just lust. Quinn Fabray will remember her, even if only for the amazing fuck she is providing as a one night stand._

_She pushed the writhing woman under her and plunged three fingers into tight wet heat. Fuck foreplay. This is punishment. Sheets twisted around them as Quinn turned and moaned at the intrusion._

"_Oh, fuck. You're so good."_

_Rachel smirked above, lost in her mission to make the blonde remember and make herself forget. She set a fast pace, curling her fingers and slapping her palms on the bundle of nerves in front of her._

"_Fucking hell. Goddamn! You're fucking me so good!"_

_The brunette felt small. She's a fuck toy at the moment. But who cares? Who the hell in fuck cares?_

_She rocked with Quinn, refusing to look at the hazel eyes. And with another thrust, she pinched the small nub underneath her and the blonde came undone, shouting expletives._

**To myself  
>I do believe<strong>

_As the woman beside her laid panting after the vigorous fuck, Rachel knows that she will keep on going until they both pass out. Quinn has to remember her. She is in control now. The blonde won't even know of the Rachel Berry from Lima, Ohio twelve years ago. If anything, she will erase everything. Replace them, if you will._

"_We're not done yet." Rachel growled to the sleepy blonde._

_The woman just smirked lazily and motioned for her to continue._

_Rachel hadn't let Quinn have her post-coital bliss. She slid downwards to breathe on the pink slit before her. Lust clouded her vision as she attacked the sight in front of her._

"_Fuck! Suck me up!"_

_This is nothing she remembered. This is trashy fucking. Like a hooker giving service behind a dark alley in a beat down town. But at least, there's no one to interrupt them now. Not Russell Fabray. Not Lima, Ohio's hypocritical dogma._

_She lapped up the wetness flowing from Quinn. Her musk, her scent filled the younger woman's senses. Rachel flattened her tongue and teased each of the blonde's pale inner thighs. She was like an animal in heat, savaging her meal. A prisoner in death row chomping down on her last feast._

_The brunette looked up above her. She saw Quinn biting her lip, just like old times. Just like in the tree house, when she was above her. In the tree—._

_NO!_

_They are fucking right now. The past is of no significance! It is nothing like this. The encounter that happened twelve years ago need not be tainted by this mindless act. She will keep that one in a vault deep inside of her. Not forgotten, but still away from the surface. What would be seen is a smiling Berry with all the fakeness of a good fuck._

_The taller woman's moans pulled her away from her thoughts. That's right. She will make Quinn Fabray whimper into submission. _

"_Oh yes! Fuck! Fuck!"_

_The singer looked up. The woman above her is grappling into the head board. What a sight. She is in control right now. And she will fuck this person into oblivion. Make her beg for her release. Make her plead for pleasure._

"_What do you need? Tell me what you need." Rachel asked the blonde in a throaty voice._

"_Inside me! Now! Fuck! Put your tongue inside me!"_

_Rachel smirked to hide her quivering lips. There is something in this moment. Something that breaks the heart yet fills the body with undeniable lust. But she decided to push everything aside. To not dwell in anything but the woman under her, begging to be fucked_

_And fuck her, she did. With no warning, just like when Quinn showed in the bar that night, Rachel stabbed the blonde's walls with her tongue. She feels the soft muscles clamping. Everything was sloppy, but she slurped anyway. She tasted faint saltiness and she feels Quinn thrashing on top of her._

"_Shit! Harder! Make me come!"_

_The blonde's words were like knife being thrust into her insides. This has just been a way to get off. To have another warm body. For sex._

_But amidst all the pity and lowness Rachel felt, she continued to fuck Quinn. She fucked her with body and soul. She was a glorious sight in that hotel room where the bed was creaking and music was playing. Sweat mixed with both their wetness._

_She would make the most out of this. Because this will be the last time._

**Oh, up, down, turn around, please don't let me hit the ground  
>Tonight I think I'll walk alone, find my soul as I go home<strong>

Rachel pulled her shirt from under the bed. The buttons were useless now. Loose. Unstable. Hanging. Just like what she held onto for the last twelve years. Regardless, she stuck her arms to the sleeves and buttoned whatever she could.

She looked for her jacket in the expanse of the room. Found it slung on the foot of the bed, being trampled by Quinn's feet. Funny, that's the way her heart and soul feels now. She covered herself with it, trying to keep whatever tiny piece of dignity still left in her being.

**Up, down, turn around, please don't let me hit the ground  
>Tonight I think I'll walk alone, find my soul as I go home<strong>

She looked for her pants. It was near the small coffee table where her younger self appeared. And when she crossed the small distance to get it, she saw her little self again. Sad. Afraid. Full of pity.

_Rachel continued to sink her tongue deeper into Quinn. Leaving herself in the form of liquid to mix with the blonde's essence. And when her eyes flickered at the small coffee table just right of the bed, she envisioned her younger self._

_If she was to tell her thirteen year old self that this would be the conclusion to their dreams, what would her reaction be? Would she believe? Or would she continue being stupid?_

_In her mind's eye, she sees herself from twelve years ago. The timid girl, so far away from her right now. She ignored the apparition to continue working Quinn. Why would she pay any attention to the young, foolish girl? She was just another shadow that keeps on attacking her. Besides, she doesn't know anything. She'll never get anything._

_The silent questions were plucked away from her when she heard Quinn's moans and whimpers. She used her tan arms to encircle the blonde's thighs to keep her from jerking too much._

_Rachel heeded no more attention to the mirage of her old self. It was another figment of her drama. Instead, she focused on the woman in front of her. The one with legs wide open. The one with subtle muscles twitching for release._

"_Fuck! Harder! Just make me fucking come!"_

_And with that, Rachel grazed her teeth in the pinkish, erect core that made the blonde shudder and reach new heights. After that, Quinn laid motionless, the steady breathing indicating that she was sleeping._

**Oh it's the last time, oh it's the last time  
>Oh it's the last time, oh it's the last time<strong>

Rachel tried to smirk at the memory of fucking Quinn Fabray to unconsciousness. She tried to laugh, hold some pride. But all she managed to get out was a strangled sound matched with a broken smile.

Her hope had lost its luster for who knows how long. Will she ever pull herself up again? Will her smile ever reach her eyes again? Who the fuck knows?

Enough with the questions. Inquiries that no one have answers to. Why ask such stupid things if no one knows the answer? That's another question, scratch that.

She worked on her jeans and ignored all the pounding in her head. All the memories begging to be let in. She will keep them at bay. If only until she reaches her apartment. There, she will drown herself in the monsters of the past. They used to be sweet, precious memories. But now? Hauntings seemed more appropriate.

Finally, she was able to zip up. She gathered the rest of her things, careful still not to disturb the sleeping blonde. As she turned the knob to escape the hotel room that contained yet another plethora of memories, she hears the closing lines to the song that accompanied her reminiscing since she woke up.

**And I've never met anyone quite like you before  
>And I've never met anyone quite like you before<strong>

Tears flowed freely once more on Rachel's beautiful face. She hugged her jacket tightly as if it would shield her from the memories she made this day.

She ran across the corridor. Willing her small feet to take her as far away from this place as humanly possible. To take her away from mourning her lost love. She lost her Quinn. And then she found another one. But she lost her again. This time, maybe forever.

As she passed the other rooms, she imagined their occupants. Are they sleeping? Are they awake too? Maybe lamenting on the past? Do they have any regrets? Haven't we all?

The hotel's centralized air conditioning breezed across her face, making the tears dry themselves on her cheeks. It was as if the building was trying to make her stop crying. But why is it, that she'd rather have it be Quinn's soft hands? Damn it! Why is the blonde still in her mind?

As her heels echoed on the expensive flooring, she remembers the last lines of the song that guided her that morning.

**And I've never met anyone quite like you before  
>And I've never met anyone quite like you before<strong>

She continued forward, an army of memories chasing her from behind. She fought to get away, not daring to look back. As she ran, details burned into her mind. Another collection of memory made its way to her brain. And to her heart.

Expensive paintings, elegant wallpapers, extravagant lightings, posh furniture, dead quiet.

They were all like a curse mixing with her past. As if destiny was mocking her. Whatever gods out there, making fun of her.

Look at the stupid girl. Run, poor soul, run. Dreaming fool.

Her brown orbs swam with unshed tears as she hears all the silent jeers directed to her whole being. Ridiculing her. Teasing her. Taunting her. Scorning her.

It's a cruel world.

The past assaulted her, melding with the present. The one thing she didn't want to happen. The one thing she prayed to prevent.

Creaky wooden interior, colorful sky, hard surface, flapping leaves, soft breeze, chirping birds.

The tree house. The hotel room. Both memories holding her captive, threatening to burst her insides.

**Oh, up, down, turn around, please don't let me hit the ground  
>Tonight I think I'll walk alone, find my soul as I go home<strong>

Home? But where is home? As Rachel Berry ran towards the waiting elevator. She asked herself, where is home? Isn't it where the heart is? But what if you can't locate your heart? What if you can't even find yourself? What place do you call home? Where is home?

The teenage uniformed boy manning the elevator looked at her quizzically.

"What floor ma'am?"

Rachel stared for a while. Such a simple question. Why couldn't her life be like that?

"Ground."

As the metal box plummeted towards the ground floor, Rachel knows that whatever happens, she would be bringing two memories with her from now on. One will be of the blonde with hazel eyes that is her Quinn. Her Quinn that belonged to the tree house. The other one would still be blonde, still with hazel eyes, but she is Quinn Fabray, a stranger her and her cast mates met last night.

**Up, down, turn around, please don't let me hit the ground  
>Tonight I think I'll walk alone, find my soul as I go home<strong>

And when they hit the lobby, she had two memories. One that occurred twelve years and a day ago. The other that took its place twelve hours ago.

And she knows her Quinn is lost forever.

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><p><strong>AN 2: I hope I delivered. Please let me know your comments! And please, for the love of all tiny divas, do not kill me for this chapter. Just review and I may be motivated to speed write the continuation. First two chapters follows Rachel, the next ones will follow Quinn. I'm excited!**

**A/N 3: Song is "Temptation" by Moby. Listen to it, instantly likeable.**


	3. Courage

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or any other materials I will use for this fic. Don't sue, okay? Also, I own all mistakes from here on.**

**A/N 1: I am overwhelmed by the reviews and story alerts. The words you guys keep sending my way make me want to write more. So here's to another chapter, enjoy!**

* * *

><p>"Before I got here, I thought for a long time that the way out of the labyrinth was to pretend that it did not exist, to build a small, self-sufficient world in the back corner of the endless maze and to pretend that I was not lost, but home." – John Green<p>

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><p><strong>Chapter 3, Part 1<strong>

"_I will look for you, I promise. Rachel, I love you."_

"Rachel!"

Quinn shot up the bed, sweating despite the cool breeze of the steady air conditioning. She looked around, confused as to where she was. Images of last night flooded her mind as she held tightly to the velvety duvet.

A brunette with brown, weeping eyes. A magical voice that took her closer to home. Memories. Flashbacks. They assaulted her mind, and she reached up to her forehead to try and lessen the throbbing in her head.

Rachel?

She remembers going inside the bar. To drink. To forget what day it was. So much has happened since that day. She never believed that one day could literally change your life, your whole being, your whole…you. But when it happened to her, she was slapped by life so fast she didn't even have the chance to reason with fate. Maybe if she could have, she would have pleaded. Maybe the first thing she would ask for is the brunette with deep brown eyes. But no, chance smacked her before she could even open her eyes. Literally.

But even if things have changed, they still didn't. The pounding in her head intensified. This doesn't even make sense right now. Nothing makes sense, actually. But that was on an everyday basis. But as of now, she remembered drinking, alcohol buzzing in her system, hang over punishing her frail body.

And then she saw her. Heard her. Smelled her. Tasted her. Held her.

Rachel. Her Rachel. Oh god, what have she done?

She sat there, wide-eyed. What have she done?

Quinn closed her eyes slowly and her face contorted in pain. Her muscles trembled as she brought her knees up to her chest. She sat there and brought her hands to her quivering lips. A surplus of sensations overcame her and she clutched her chest because she felt actual pain. A pain she knows so well. The constricting in her chest became heavier. She started to heave. And after that she couldn't take it anymore. Her blonde hair was thrown forward as she toppled over. Sounds beyond heart wrenching flooded her senses and the empty room.

At the thought of an empty room, a fresh wave of emotions washed over her. Anger. Guilt. Sorrow. They all grappled her heart as they tried to squeeze its almost empty shell. At the thought of an empty heart, she cried more. How did she become this person? Devoid of human feelings. Too covered in too-thick walls to even show herself. Now that she's found Rachel she's lost once more. But simultaneously, she's also home. But how? There is too much guilt in her system that she just wants to pass out.

Another round of broken sobs echoed through the room as memories came to her, just like they always do. The mocking lyrics of a vaguely familiar song made its way to her ears.

**Weep for yourself, my man,  
>You'll never be what is in your heart<br>Weep little lion man,  
>You're not as brave as you were at the start<strong>

She clenched her fists and brought them to her ears. She wanted to scream but her voice wouldn't come out. She covered her ears to block the song that seemed too fitting for her. It's always painful to have your mistakes written down for you.

Finally, she found her voice. Her instinct wanted her to scream, to destroy the goddamned hotel's speaker system. But for once she opted to let herself remember. Yes, she does remember. Tonight was just another one of her smooth lies. Of course, she remembers. She always had. But it was a lot easier to pretend. To pretend that nothing happened. To pretend that guilt did not keep her company during conscious dreams.

Maybe it would be easier to pretend, but she has lived almost half of her life based on lies. Right now, she's alone. Was she not allowed to dwell inside her? Visit her own prison, just because she deserves to be locked forever. Maybe she could let herself do it this one time. Once more. To pretend. She's good at that.

And as though it's the only thing keeping her alive, she breathed a word. It mixed with the notes of the song as happy memories flooded her. Maybe she could pretend to be happy, alone in this room. So she whispered again, a little louder this time.

"Rachel."

_Lima, Ohio._

_Quinn Fabray was playing at the woody part of the town's park one late afternoon. The sun's golden orange haze was barely at the horizon. The lights danced playfully while hues whispered among each other. To any other kid, it was the perfect day to come out and play. It was as if the rainbow colored rays were beckoning the young blonde to join them._

_Just as she was about to pack up and leave, she heard a tiny whimper. She dropped her toys back to the soft grass covering the ground beneath her. Her ears perked up to try and catch more of the sound. And then she heard it again, the sob was louder this time._

_She looked around her, trying to find out where the cry was coming from._

"_Hello?" The young girl called out cautiously. She might be a brave little girl, but she's not that brave. Especially when it's approaching dark._

"_Hello? Who's there?" She called out again while looking around for anyone._

_The sobs stopped momentarily and she heard a very soft voice answering her._

"_I'm stuck."_

_At this point, she was puzzled, who would be stuck in a park? But then, she decided to answer._

"_Where are you?"_

"_Tree house." Came the faster reply._

_Okay, this is getting weird now. There's a tree house? In Lima? A tree house! Her eyes bugged out. Because as a kid, who wouldn't be excited by the prospect of a tree house? It was endless excitement. She started to look around the woods. Upwards, because that's where tree houses are, right?_

_And then she saw it. Just a few yards from where she's standing was a large tree house perched up above an old tree. The ladder was rolled to one of the branches. Maybe that's why she hasn't noticed it before._

"_Hold on, I'll get there." She shouted to the distressed voice she was talking to a while ago._

_When she got exactly below the tree house, she tilted her head up to see who was there. And maybe, if someone saw, they'd say it would be the simplest meeting of two young hearts. So simple yet so indescribable. So magical. So innocent._

_As Quinn looked up at the tree house, she saw some of the leaves covering the lovely structure ruffle and shake some on the ground. They fell, and the little blonde smiled as some rested on her feet while others were blown away by the wind. The sun was going down, announcing twilight, and yet the place buzzed with activity._

_The lights skewed. Wasn't the sun supposed only to be yellow? But right there, in her hometown, a ten year old Quinn saw a barrage of magical lights, almost like musical notes creating a harmony. The clouds were filled with orange, red, gold, yellow, even violet. And they all made her young soul vibrant._

_Once more, she looked up expectantly at the tree house. And slowly, a small head stuck out to peer at the ground. The owner of the voice was a little brunette girl. Quinn figured that the girl was only a few years younger than her. And she was not familiar. The smiling blonde knows that she wouldn't have forgotten the way the radiant colors reflected on the chestnut hair if she already met the girl._

_Quinn was still smiling, looking up expectantly. The dark brown hair cascaded on the girls face as she raked over the blonde's form. And then small, tan hands came into view. It was almost as if the other girl was glowing beneath the sun's tapestry. The girl brushed her bangs, and two pairs of eyes met._

_The first one was looking up, hazel with brown flecks gazing up. Her eyes' reflection was being bounced by the playful hues of the sun joining their meeting. The other one was wide chocolate orbs, looking adorable as the owner rubs both to brush away stray tears._

_They met. They smiled. And the winds rustled, as if in approval. The sun's rays glowed more in intensity as the nearby lake swayed it in the beauty of the horizon. And the birds chirped, as if to cheer two innocent girls._

"_Hi!" Quinn shouted to be heard._

_The brunette with adorable eyes waved before shouting, "Hello!" back._

"_Um..so you're stuck?"_

"_Yes. I tried to go down earlier but the ladder was swaying and I got afraid. I didn't know that climbing down would be such a nuisance. The ladder is very unstable and I'm afraid that I might fall and break my leg, thus, ending any career I might have in Broadway. Generally, I don't simply climb tree houses, but the excitement that I felt when I found one was overwhelming. So I climbed, and now I can't go down."_

_Quinn gaped at the small girl. She was taken aback by the verbose reply. Well, you couldn't blame her, really. She asked a simple question and the girl rambled on her life story. She sighed, all she gathered was that the little girl was afraid of the ladder._

"_I'm Rachel Berry, seven years old, future Broadway star, by the way. I'm visiting my grandparents with my dads for the summer. Who are you?"_

_Quinn gawked at the girl. She was certainly the only kid who's managed to ramble and introduce herself without sparing a breath. And more so, with the situation of not being able to go down the tree house looming around them. In other words, Quinn was amused. She was fascinated, and she found it funny and cute. But she decided against laughing. Loud or not, she figures that the other girl might not take it too well._

"_O..kay. I'm Quinn. I'll hold the ladder from here so that it won't sway so you can go down. Okay?"_

_Rachel looked a little bit uncertain. The way her small brows crunched up and her nose tweaked up was a sight to behold. To Quinn, it made her smile more. Rachel looked cute in her knee socks and red dress._

"_Rachel, c'mon just go down, I promise I'll hold tight."_

"_But…"_

_When Quinn travelled her eyes up, it looked like Rachel was about to cry. She immediately felt sad that the cute, adorable girl trapped in the tree house was about to cry._

"_Rach, I promise I won't let anything happen to you. I'll hold the ladder tight."_

_It was the first promise shared by the brunette and the blonde. And while the ladder separated them, the forest rejoiced the splendid celebration at the meeting of two everlasting souls._

_Rachel still looked unsure but she was starting to loosen her grip on the door of the tree house. Her adorable forehead creased. And on a last second thought, she called out._

"_What if I fall?"_

_Quinn smiled softly. And with all the sincerity that a kid could muster, she answered the doubting brunette._

"_Then I'll catch you."_

Back in the empty hotel room, there was no Rachel Berry to be seen. And the sky seemed to agree as the colors vanished, replaced by grey, foreboding shadows.

**Rate yourself and rake yourself,  
>Take all the courage you have left<br>Wasted on fixing all the problems  
>That you made in your own head<strong>

Courage. She has seemingly lost that twelve years ago. There was no more of that girl who promised to hold the ladder tight. The one that promised to catch a young brunette if she falls. But maybe she could pretend that she was back at Lima's old park once more.

After all, she still remembers the colors. Maybe the trees and the birds will remember her too.

_When Quinn was done coaxing the brunette, Rachel smiled confidently and started to go down. When she reached the end of the rope, she enveloped a surprised Quinn into a tight hug._

"_Thank you, Quinnie." Rachel said, almost shyly as she looked up to the taller girl._

_There was something at the moment they met. Something that surpassed Lima, yet it covered the whole town park, particularly the tree house. Something that has no name, yet was so strong. So strong that Rachel's big, Broadway smile lightened the whole afternoon. So strong that Quinn's eyes glowed beneath her dirty blonde lashes._

_To the locals, they would dismiss it as the excitement of meeting a new friend. But if someone will ask the birds, and the sky, and the trees, they would agree with the town folks, but they would also say that it was so much more than that. And if you ask why, they would just smile and tell you to wait for your turn._

_To the two girls, they wouldn't know how to name it, but the way the chocolate orbs blended with smiling hazel eyes said it all. It was one of the best sunsets in Quinn's life. When she was ten years old and she met a seven year old rambling future Broadway star._

_And as the two girls said goodbye that afternoon, Quinn looked once more to the sun already hidden somewhere in the universe. But the blonde could still see it. She sees the hues, the colors, the brunette, the tan skin, the adorable smile. And as night started to unveil the stars, she keeps the surface of the sun's rays on top of her memory._

_She wanted to hold them before she goes to sleep. Though, she has no idea how to hold rays and memories. But they seemed friendly. They were waving good bye in her vision, but she knows she'll keep seeing them in her mind._

_And tomorrow, she would play on the woody part behind the park, and they will see each other again. She will see Rachel Berry again.  
><em>**  
><strong>And inside the empty hotel room where a blonde was folded over her weeping form, colors have started to bathe her vision. It was as if the elements present when she was ten years old were carried with her. Maybe she just didn't know that they were still inside her.

It was as if she could feel the Ohio breeze, the one that appeared only ever so often, brushing her face. She could smell the warmth of the humble sun, hear the chirping birds. And maybe, her courage wasn't totally gone. Maybe, it was time to make herself remember. It was a long-time coming.

Hoarsely, she whispered once more.

"Rachel."

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><p><strong>AN 2: I wanted to get this chapter posted as one, because I don't like chopping songs. But…I think it's good to leave each of Quinn's memory one at a time. I know I said that we'll know why Quinn was acting like…that. But at least some of the questions are answered. And I didn't want the memories to overwhelm each other. I hope you guys enjoyed their first meeting.**

**A/N 3: The song is "Little Lion Man" by Mumford and Sons. I couldn't resist…Lion Quinn. LOL. But just let me finish, okay? It really makes sense for this part of the story.**


	4. Wreckage

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or any other materials I will use for this fic. Don't sue, okay? Also, I own all mistakes from here on.**

**A/N 1: Sorry for the sporadic update intervals, guys. Sometimes real life just smacks me in the head and I can't do anything about it. And, when the muse is on hiatus…I couldn't really do much, or else everything will suck. But, for now, we've got an update for ourselves. So…enjoy!**

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><p>"Perhaps, after all, romance did not come into one's life with pomp and blare, like a gay knight riding down; perhaps it crept to one's side like an old friend through quiet ways; perhaps it revealed itself in seeming prose, until some sudden shaft of illumination flung athwart its pages betrayed the rhythm and the music; perhaps…perhaps…love unfolded naturally out of a beautiful friendship, as a golden-hearted rose slipping from its green sheath." —L. M. Montgomery<p>

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><p><strong>Chapter 3, Part 2<strong>

"Rachel."

Why did she let everything come to this? She knows she has never forgotten Rachel. Not once. Every memory with her little brunette is held inside Quinn's heart. Deep, yet revered and locked with a key. Quinn feels the hammering in her chest once more. Her pain is not really something one can put to words. All she knows is that every breath brings pain, longing, sadness, and more pain. Like a storm, twisting and turning, destroying everything.

Why did her life become like this?

**But it was not your fault but mine  
>And it was your heart on the line<strong>

The painful lyrics of the song impaled her. Inside, a dull grey shadow is spreading. Very much in contrast with the vibrant colors that she had been reminded of. But it's unfolding, like a dirty swamp that threatens to drown her. And she fights. She fights for control, for herself, for love, for Rachel. It's not an easy battle, more so when you've trained yourself to take everything blow by blow.

**I really fucked it up this time  
>Didn't I, my dear?<br>Didn't I, my...**

_Lima, Ohio. Twelve years and a day ago._

_Quinn's frail body thumped and thudded at the now all too empty tree house as Russell Fabray delivered punishing blows. She felt the punches, slaps, and kicks but somehow she couldn't bring herself to care. It didn't matter that her father was hauling words that a daughter should never hear. It didn't matter that her mother was beneath the silent tree house, crying and heart broken._

_No. All that matters is Rachel. Rachel is gone. Rachel was taken away from her._

_Ever so vaguely, she felt her father throw the articles of clothing that was discarded. Tears streamed down her face when she noticed Rachel's necklace lying in the heap of clothes. It was the locket that Quinn gave her last summer. It was the sign, the promise that cemented Quinn's feelings for her little brunette. A confirmation of sorts._

_Russell Fabray's bellowing voice thundered in her ear as another hard shove pushed her from the bittersweet memories._

"_Get dressed you little piece of shit!"_

_She almost didn't want to move. But there was so much pain coursing her body. So, so much pain. And she has to hide the locket. She has to hold on to it as if her life depended on it. She needed this. One last hurrah to cruel fate. One last memorabilia to signify that what was in her heart was real—is real—and will always be real._

_There was anguish in Quinn's every step. She saw her mother weeping even before her feet reached the dirty Lima soil. The younger blonde reached out to the woman who had always loved her unconditionally._

_Judy Fabray._

_The mother whose love for her child always knew no bound, except Russell Fabray's monstrosity and dictatorship. It was dysfunctional and wrong. Yet, in the Fabray household, it was so much more than little Quinn could ever ask for._

_In the eyes of society, of the church, of normalcy's sake, of bigotry, and of the Fabray's narrow point of view, she was a sinner—an abomination. But still she reached for her mother's hand. She needed to try, to maybe find hope._

_Two pale, shaking hands met. Two words were uttered. And two pairs of eyes met._

"_Mom."_

"_Quinnie."_

_And that was all that was needed. It was as close to a confirmation that the mother will always be a mother who loves her child no matter what. And it was also the most Judy could hope for a declaration of love for a parent, her child calling her 'Mom' even if the title was somehow undeserved._

_Judy Fabray looked at her daughter and let out a strangled sob. The sound that echoed through the secluded greenery was all that Quinn needed as understanding passed between mother and daughter. No one else was privy to it. Not even the thundering footsteps of the raging blonde man going down the steps of the tree house. It was as if Judy was saying that even if she would never understand, she will always love her daughter._

_Because Quinn is her child._

_And there was no other explanation needed after that. It was just because._

Quinn half crawls into the messed up bed. The covers were thrown haphazardly, and there was no semblance to the pristine duvet before her and Rachel occupied the space. Shaking her head slightly, she reaches out to her crumpled clothes.

Inside the back pocket of her designer jeans, she finds her wallet. She opens the flap gingerly and finds what she's looking for. The only thing that got her through times like these, her precious thing. In one of the pockets, there's a faded leather slot, 'R + Q' embossed on it. At the sight of the seemingly dwindling leather, Quinn breaks into broken sobs that threaten to tear her once more. This is another reminder for her to mourn, to grieve at the regret of never being able to share it with Rachel.

She had wanted to share every detail of that day to Rachel. She had wanted to tell her what she felt, how she felt, and how she still does.

After all those years.

And once again, her mind wandered through all those years. That one day when everything changed; when she had to grow up faster than she would have liked; when Quinn's Rachel vanished under the dark veil of the Fabray's false pretenses.

**Tremble for yourself, my man,  
>You know that you have seen this all before<strong>

_The moment shared between Quinn and Judy seemed like forever. Or at least it warranted something as such. But reality always catches up. Sometimes as a pleasant intrusion, but other times as a frightening conclusion. Russell's rage is still real. And Quinn's 'transgression' is still real. And the three of them will still ride in the sleek BMW where they are shadowed away from the fucking town's scrutiny._

_It was funny, really. Though at the same time, it wasn't. But when you live in a town as small as Lima, riding a BMW makes you royalty. You know that the people you passed by would sometimes wish they were the ones riding those pearl leathers with the engine's purr underneath the tips of their fingers._

_For the three occupants of the car? Sometimes they just want to stop with the pretense. But when you're top dog, even if it's only in Lima, you grasp on to it. You grasp until nothing is left inside your soul but anger and pain. Sometimes the pretense makes everything seem bearable. But most of the times, it will be like you just want to tear everything and hurl them to the prying gazes. Sometimes you will want to shout to them to take every fucking thing away so that maybe you could have a taste of freedom. But bigots and hypocrites will never allow you that. And so you remain silent._

_For Russell Fabray, the power he holds over the whole town is sometimes enough to fill the gaping hole in his black heart._

_For Judy Fabray, the illusion that the three of them are perfect in the eyes of her pottery club, book club, housewives club, church club, and whatever club known to man is sometimes enough to make her forget that they're just three individuals coexisting and not a family._

_For Quinn Fabray, it was never the admiration of her peers or the way they cower in fear whenever she strutted down the halls of her school. It was not even anything permanently in Lima. No, she found comfort on the fact that she can glare her way through any kid who is unfortunate enough to be enamored by the mystery of the tree house. Because of the Fabray blood pumping into her, she was able to claim the tree house and wait there for Rachel's return every summer since she was ten and her brunette was seven. It was a twisted satire, but it got the job done. The tree house was hers and Rachel's only._

_She had always wanted to apologize to those kids that never experienced the thrill of climbing into the tree house because it was claimed by a Fabray. Maybe she could have even befriended some of them. Maybe._

**Tremble little lion man,  
>You'll never settle any of your scores<strong>

_Russell was still shouting when they hit the highway. Beside him was Judy, cowering under her husband's rage. On the backseat was Quinn, just quietly holding on to Rachel's locket._

_Maybe the shock still hasn't settled in. Maybe she just didn't care. Maybe she just wanted to see Rachel at least one more time. If not to stay with her forever then at least leave her with a proper goodbye and a proper promise, not some shouted mantra in a hysterical state._

_When will she see Rachel?_

_Russell caught sight of the locket grasped firmly inside her palm. His face became redder as some more rage fueled him. Quinn didn't have to say anything. She didn't have to. The way she held on to the gold necklace was explanation enough for the man in front of her._

"_How dare you bring that filth's thing inside my car! How dare fill this family with your sins!"_

_Suddenly, strong burly hands were wrestling the precious jewellery from Quinn's grip. And they struggled. Russell with the strength of a madman escaping all the boundaries of reason. And Quinn with the determination of a lover stripped of all sense of love._

_Rachel. Her Rachel was the only thing keeping her sane at that very moment, the only one holding her together. And damn it if she didn't fight for her little brunette._

_The traffic light ahead of them blazed a bright green as if mocking them. Green. The color of life. But here are three tortured souls in front of the blazing green, miserable in their own version of hell._

_Judy cried. She sobbed, as agony ripped through her body. Because honestly, what can she do? She cowers under her husband's ferocious glare. She was never even brave enough to protect her own child. Where did she go wrong? Where?_

_Green turned to yellow in front of them. Yellow. The color of joy and happiness. Such an ironic symbolism. Because in the Fabray household, those words held no meaning. Just awkwardness and some more pretense._

_Quinn's hands trembled as Russell tried to pry away the blonde's precious thing. Russell's veins seemed to pop out. It was almost comical in a tragic way._

_And suddenly red appeared in front of them, not that any of them had noticed. How fitting. Red. It is as they say the color of love. And at the same time, it also the color of anger._

_Passionate love. Passionate anger. Just perfect._

_As Russell and Quinn grappled over the golden locket, Judy's screams filled the car. In the haste of it all, both man and daughter looked up to see what was happening. They were just in time to hear the incessant honk of an approaching truck._

_Honk. Honk. Honk._

_The sound seemed to pull both of them to reality. Like a drunken man pushed into sobriety by a bucket splash of ice cold water. It was a very, very cruel awakening._

_It wasn't like those in the movies where things would slow down and your life would pass before your eyes. Quite the opposite actually. They never had the time to react nor to remove their death grip with the locket between them. It was just the oncoming truck and its blaring xenon headlights._

_Xenon? What color would that be? White maybe? Ah, white. The color of purity. Quinn remembers from her science class that it's not really a color. But it is the presence of all color—the complete energy of light. It is the very definition of wholeness and completion._

_Did she feel complete? No. More like broken into a thousand unrecognizable pieces. Just like the Fabray family, if it could even be called such._

_Everything meshed together, like a morbid harmony of tragedy. And everything just seemed frozen. All that can be heard is the ringing in her ears. And everything struck her before she could utter a word._

_And then there was darkness._

_Darkness? What color would that be? Black maybe? Ah, black. The color of…wait…black isn't a color. Technically, it is the absence of all colors. How befitting. Emptiness._

_Wait, is this the end? And before everything disappeared, Quinn's thoughts wandered one more time._

'_Will I ever see you again, Rachel?'_

**Your grace is wasted in your face,  
>Your boldness stands alone among the wreck<strong>

Inside the hotel room where cold air was being blown, Quinn closed her eyes as the memories from that day rushed back. Slowly and carefully, like a surreptitious glance from the sun peeking in the horizon, she reaches inside the faded leather to extract a golden necklace. It was the locket that Quinn had held on for so long.

She kissed the shiny ornament and held it against her chest tenderly. Carefully, she set it aside to pull out a fragile piece of paper. She always wrote, but this was first one she had written with such powerful emotions. It wasn't mind blowing or award winning. But it was enough to tell anyone how she felt for her little brunette.

It was a letter tucked with a promise, sealed with child-like innocence, fighting to overcome time. Quinn unfolds the yellowing edges tenderly, as if she's afraid to hurt the little piece of paper that has always been a part of her heart.

And Quinn sees it once more, the long elegant strokes that she's always written with. They never changed, her script is still the same. Staring right at her are words she wrote when she was still sixteen, a day before the fateful encounter at the tree house. When she still believed that the world was hers to conquer.

_Come find me,  
>Meet me at that place<br>Where the waters are always calm.  
>I'll be waiting for you,<br>I'll always be waiting  
>There, where dreams never end.<em>

And just like that, it hit her. Just like Russell Fabray hit her. Just like the truck hit their BMW. Her thoughts at this exact moment never differed from the accident before her world turned dark.

"Will I ever see you again, Rachel?"

And just like before, praying to the god of final second chances, she really wished she would.

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><p><strong>AN 2: Again, I can't express enough how sorry I am that this took forever. I was very much uninspired during the past weeks. And I didn't want to write anything just for the sake of updating. The story and the writing would have really sucked if I were to simply breeze through it. And I you guys deserve so much more than a hastily written update. And just to say, every chapter is a bitch to write. I'm always battling with the plot. It has its own mind. Seriously, it's scary.**

**A/N 3: Sorry to leave it at that, but like last chapter (if you still remember), I refuse to dump it all at once. Obviously, I already know what happened next, but I'm still interested on what you're all thinking. That being said, what do you guys think happened after the crash?**

**A/N 4: Song is still "Little Lion Man" by Mumford and Sons. I will be sticking to this song until the very end of Quinn's past, which is next chapter. I hope you all stick around to see what happens. REVIEW. PLEASE. :)**


	5. Love

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or any other materials I will use for this fic. Don't sue, okay? Also, I own all mistakes from here on.**

**A/N 1: Does anyone ever read author's notes? If you do, please review. I was kind of sad that nobody bothered to review last chapter. Was it bad? Disappointing? Point me to the right direction please.**

**A/N 2: Violence up ahead. You've been warned.**

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><p>"Even now, all possible feelings do not yet exist; there are still those that lie beyond our capacity and our imagination. From time to time, when a piece of music no one has ever written or a painting no one has ever painted, or something else impossible to predict, fathom or yet describe takes place, a new feeling enters the world. And then, for the millionth time in the history of feeling, the heart surges and absorbs the impact." — Nicole Krauss<p>

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><p><strong>Chapter 3, Part 3<strong>

Will she ever find Rachel? Will she see her little brunette again?

Quinn's lips trembled and her eyes filled up with unshed tears. Really, it was a long time coming. She has never cried since what happened at the tree house. Since twelve years ago. They say it's unhealthy. You know, for a person not to cry. But when you grow up in a household as damaging as the Fabray's, it is what you know to do.

They say that people move on. People forget the past. People forget the pain. But if you ask the blonde hunched over the expensive hotel room, she'll say they're liars. You do not forget the pain of losing someone you've loved for what feels like your whole life. At least not in twelve bloody years. That's as far as she's counted.

The day of the accident still haunt her dreams. Or maybe nightmares would be more befitting? And the painful tug in her chest has always been there. Sometimes, most of the time, she's able to keep it in the back of her head. Keep the visions away, if you will. But it is always there, just filed away but never forgotten.

Tragic.

But here she is again, unable to keep the memories locked away. Twelve fucking years and she still haven't found a way to lock the figurative lock and throw away its figurative key.

Tragic.

_Lima, Ohio. Twelve years and a day ago._

_There it is again. The incessant honking. The blinding white light. It's very cliché to ask, but she has to._

_Is she dead?_

_Honk. Honk. Honk._

_Apparently not._

_She tries to open her eyes. There was a brief flash of yellow followed by red. The pounding in her head increased, but she struggles to sit up. And she smiles because the horizon is spewing a spectacle of hues. She smiles because she knew Rachel would have loved the colors. Her little brunette always loved beautiful sunsets. Rachel would always say, "Just like when we first met." And then they would both smile at each other. Their secret smile with eyes communicating in a secret language._

"_Rachel." Quinn says in a hoarse, albeit smiling voice._

_And suddenly there were shouts._

"_Over here!" "We have another one!"_

_They were somehow distant to Quinn, yet she can hear them clearly. Is that weird?_

_A worried face with falling brunette hair appears in front of her and leans._

"_Rach?" She asks while trying to lift her arm to reach the person's chestnut hair._

"_Miss! Can you hear me?"_

_That's strange. Why is Rachel calling her 'miss'?_

"_Rach." She says again and gingerly touched the face in front of her._

_The girl turns back and shouts, "I've got one over here! She's in shock but breathing's even! I need a paramedic!"_

_What in the world is her eccentric little brunette talking about?_

"_Rachel, I found you." She says while smiling up to her angel. Lifting her hands up, she tried to reach up._

"_Hang on, sweetie. Try not to move."_

_She found her little brunette. She's happy now. Darkness started to pull her again as dizziness began to set in. Birds were gliding across the skyline. Funny, the Lima sky never looked so peaceful. Across the horizon the sun was burrowing itself, taking its last peek on the decrepit scene below._

_Quinn smiles once more. Her face looked radiant as the sun's spectacle bathed her features._

_And then she closed her eyes._

Tragic, really. Quinn closed her eyes as the accident flooded her vision. The memory of the accident always assaulted her. When she's sleeping. When she's awake. And there were still nights when only screams and honks can be heard in her dreams.

Oddly, there is always a part of the accident that made her heart soar. The feeling that she found Rachel. Of course, that was only her mind playing tricks on her. And then the fact that it was not real would always follow. But somehow, it always came back to the joy of finding Rachel. Yes, even if it was just a hallucination.

And she remembers waking up.

_There were voices, sounds, and beeping. Incessant beeping. Bodies rushing around. And shouting from everywhere. God, the voices._

_Quinn opened her eyes just to close them again. Blinding white light stung her eyes and the pounding in her head only intensified._

_Again, it's cliché but she has to ask._

_Is she dead?_

_Well, if she is, the other side sure looks busy. And if she is, is it really supposed to feel numbness and pain? Both at the same time?_

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

_Apparently, she's not dead. Yet._

_She tried to open her eyes again. This time, she manages. Just barely._

"_Sweetie, do you hear me?"_

_Quinn tried to speak but the only sound that out was a strangled groan. She swallowed to clear her throat and tried once more._

"_Where am I?"_

_That's the logical thing you were supposed to ask in strange places, right?_

"_Lima General Hospital." The woman answered her._

_Blonde brows furrowed in confusion. And the memories took the opportunity to assault her with the accident. Her father's angry voice. Her mother's screams. Her, unable to move._

_The sunset. Rachel._

_Somehow, everything always led back to Rachel._

_Rachel?_

"_Rachel?" She voices hoarsely, saying the only thing that makes sense._

"_No, sweetie, I'm Dr. Livingston."_

_The pounding in Quinn's head intensified as flashes of the accident reached her vision. She knows there's been an accident. And that she isn't dead. And though it is still a bit hazy to her, she knows that Rachel isn't around._

_And where's her family? Where was her dad? Or her mom?_

"_Where's my mom?" She asked, still in a throaty voice. Shaking her arms, she tried to pull the wires that are all over her body. Damn it! Why are there so many fucking wires! She felt other arms around her, holding her down, trapping her._

"_Mom!" She shouted, slightly in hysterics. There were so many hands, so many voices. She just wants them to leave her alone. She wants Rachel. And she also wants her mom._

"_Sweetie, you need to stay still. We need to perform some tests."_

_Dr. Livingston's soft, soothing voice calmed her if only for a second before some more hands tried to push her back down the mattress. And she was suddenly aware of the flurry of activity around her. Fighting the arms that were still trying to hold her down, she thrashed wildly to sit up, just slightly aware of the doctor's soft voice above the chaos._

_The sound of beeping was distinctly pulling her from all the madness. The voices were still there, the obnoxious hands were still there, the subtle force that she feels as she was being pushed down._

_And yet, they weren't. Because she hears the beeping. Because she looked at her right and she sees it._

_She sees a bloodied figure with long blonde hair with the doctors and nurses huddled around the bed. And everything stops abruptly. The incessant beeping is the only sound she could hear. It's quite funny, really, because this is so much like the movies. And yet, it isn't. It can't be._

_Quinn's breath hitches. She closed her eyes. Maybe just like in the movies the scene will go away and the credits will roll in. But the beeping is still there, and the figure is still there. Only this time, there were more shouts coming from the doctors and nurses. She's then only vaguely aware of the arms still pushing at her._

_But what really stayed with her is that she sees it and hears it at the same time._

_She sees the figure's pearl earrings. One of a kind, very expensive. It is Judy Fabray's._

_And then she hears it. The incessant and annoying beeping suddenly stopped. For just a split second, she was disillusioned, tricked by false calm. But then the beeping was replaced by another sound. Just a monotone sound. Completely straight and flat sound._

_Straight like the line she's seeing on the machine beside her mother's bed._

_A sting pricks her in the arm. And the scene around her swam in front of her eyes. The last image that floods her mind is the figure with distinct blonde hair albeit covered in blood and dirt. And its pearl earrings that once belonged to her mother._

_Lastly, before giving in to oblivion, she hears a faint, robotic like voice._

"_Time of death, 7:15pm."_

**Learn from your mother  
>Or else spend your days biting your own neck<strong>

Quinn lay frozen against the expensive duvet. Tears streamed freely down her cheeks. She remembers when her mother used to pinch them. And sometimes, when she closed her eyes hard enough, it was almost like she could feel her mother's soft hands. Comforting her, lulling her to sleep.

She closed her eyes, the small piece of paper that was her poem for Rachel nestled tenderly inside her enclosed palms.

God, how she wished Rachel was there to hold her.

She spent the last twelve years of her life trying to forget everything that happened. She spent them pretending that everything was just a bad dream. And that it would be ever soon. Always soon.

But now, after seeing Rachel, it was like the dam broke. It was like she finally woke up to find out that everything have always been real.

After Judy died, all the things that happened after were fragments of a nightmare that haunts her until now. It was the reason why she never searched for her little brunette. It convinced Quinn that she didn't deserve happiness. That she never did.

Russell Fabray.

Her father. Her father whose job was to love his child for who she is.

Quinn's breaths came in pants. She didn't care that she seemed like a lunatic having a breakdown in the middle of her hotel room.

Her father was supposed to love her. He wasn't supposed to tell her that he wished she didn't exist.

Her father was supposed to thrive for her happiness. He wasn't supposed to rejoice in her misery.

Her father was supposed to hug her after she lost her love and her mother died. He wasn't supposed to beat the ever living shit out of her every fucking day of what remained in their miserable lives.

He was supposed to do a lot of things. But he never did. Likewise, he was never supposed to do anything he did. But he did.

It was the most fucked up set up of all set ups.

**But it was not your fault but mine  
>And it was your heart on the line<br>I really fucked it up this time  
>Didn't I, my dear?<br>Didn't I, my…**

She never delved into her memories after her mother died. It was almost like she had a big chunk of nothingness in her. That big chunk that stemmed after her mother died after the man she used to call dad almost killed her.

_Lima, Ohio. The day of Judy's funeral._

_There was nothing but silence in the car. And that's what frightened Quinn. Her dad was silent the rest of the drive after her mother's funeral. He never talked to her after what happened in the tree house, after what happened in the hospital. He never talked to her._

_In her young mind, she knew that the rage was there. That it was building up. She could feel it, today more than all other days._

_There was absolute silence when they entered the Fabray mansion. It was almost deathly. In fact, Quinn could almost hear the beating of her heart and the blood rushing in her ears. And at that moment she was terrified._

_Her father was looking her from the couch with so much hate in his eyes that hers instantly welled up. And two things happened._

_First, she tried to open her mouth, at least apologize to her father. For what, she's not exactly certain. But she just felt like she had to. Just say something. Anything._

"_Dad, I'm—"_

_And then the second thing happened._

_Just as Quinn was about to approach her dad, she felt his backhand connect to her face. And then blood from where her father's ring connected to her cheek. She looked up at him with hazel eyes—crushed hazel eyes of a daughter. And he just looked down at her with wild, grey eyes that permeated blood._

_Her father grabbed her by the collar of her white blouse and she felt her back slam against the concrete wall. There was so much rage and hatred in his eyes, it almost killed her. Russell let out a loud, animal-like grunt as he began punching her in every part of her body._

_Her head, her chest, her stomach, her thighs._

_And she tried to cover her fragile self. She tried to speak. To say that she was sorry. But he wouldn't allow her. Every time anything escaped her mouth, even so much as a sob, he would punch her jaws. And she would feel the impact damage her. Inside and out. Gripping her heart, crushing her soul, sucking the life out of her._

_Her dad never said anything while he was beating Quinn. He never even looked into her eyes. But Quinn knew what he was trying to say._

_He blames her for the accident. Why wouldn't he? If it wasn't for her, he wouldn't be that mad enough not to notice the oncoming truck. He is trying to kill her. She doesn't deserve happiness. She ruined his family. She should never have existed. She was disgusting_

_When Quinn was no longer coherent, a thought passed in the darkest, most buried corner of her mind. She was going to keep it there, where it was beyond her father's reach. Where it was beyond even from her own reach._

_Maybe she was disgusting. Maybe she doesn't deserve happiness. But all she know is that Rachel deserved to be revelled. She was supposed to be kept, securely, deep within her. Rachel was her little brunette. The least she could do was keep a part of Rachel. Even if it was in the deepest crevices of her mind and the most unfathomable corner of her heart. Even if it was the last thing she did._

**Didn't I, my dear?**

Quinn closed her eyes. She always suppressed those memories. The farthest she ever got was her mother lying on her deathbed. But somehow, seeing Rachel, feeling her once more…it was like something inside her opened. And everything was overflowing once more.

She really almost died after her father beat her the day of the funeral. Even after twelve years, it was still hazy in her mind. And maybe it was for the best. But all she remembers was he finally stopped, as if he suddenly saw her bloodied figure to see that it was enough damage for the day.

Her whole body felt broken that day. She remembers her father hurling the medical supplies at her. It was sick. It was bittersweet. Healing her so that he could beat her up again.

Two years of hell. Every day at the Fabray mansion, with her father since her mother died was hell.

She wanted so badly to leave. She wanted to tell someone. But she never did. Partly because she had nowhere else to go. And the prospect of living in a foster home was terrifying to her damaged being. And maybe because a part of her felt like it was atonement, because she deserved it.

Her father's money dwindled during those two years. He never went to work again. He drank every day. He beat Quinn when there was not enough whiskey in the house to make him pass out. And when he was coherent enough to speak, he would always tell her that she was dirt. That she doesn't deserve to be happy. That she should just die.

They had to sell their house and Quinn had to raise herself. Her father was too drunk in rage and alcohol to take care of her. She worked. She studied. It was the only way to get out of Lima. She programmed herself not to cry. Occasionally, there will be tears during the times his fist would wander near hear eyes. But there were never sobs. There was never any crying.

As soon as she turned eighteen, she packed her clothes and all her savings with her to finally get away.

She still remembers her father's last words.

_Go away and never come back you little piece of shit._

It was also eight years since she heard of his death. She never came back.

And everything brought Quinn to where she is right now. A rising photographer who never tried to find her lost love. Why? Maybe because she already believed her father's words. That she will never deserve happiness.

And still, everything led her here. To finding Rachel and hearing her voice once more. Purely by accident. Or maybe by fate or destiny.

And seeing the girl who was safely inside the deepest part of her being after all those years, it felt as if Rachel's love was fighting her father's words. A struggle was within her. For the most part, her father prevailed. It was like he was whispering in her ears when she saw Rachel at the bar. And even until she brought Rachel to the hotel room. He always haunted her, like a monster in her waking moments.

But right now, sitting and crying in the middle of the bed where she experienced Rachel once more. She felt another emotion. Something that was strong enough to fight even those two years of hell with her father.

She wanted to describe it, because she felt that there has to be a word. But in the end, all she came up with were two simple words. And really, there was nothing else.

Love.

And Rachel.

That night, of all nights. She couldn't comprehend why it had to be that night. But she was thankful. Rachel had always been her savior. It was Rachel that kept her from being lost every time she would pass out whenever her father's punches and kicks became too much.

She always overshadowed anything that was preventing her from reaching her happiness. The mere thought of her during all those years was enough to forget the cracked ribs and bruised body.

Rachel. Only ever her Rachel.

She had always been her happiness.

**But it was not your fault but mine  
>And it was your heart on the line<br>I really fucked it up this time  
>Didn't I, my dear?<br>Didn't I, my…**

Her father took a lifetime to fuck her up. Rachel took less than twenty four hours to make her think that maybe her father was wrong.

And maybe it was time that Rachel won. It was a long time coming.

**Didn't I, my dear?**

She will not let him stop them again. She will find Rachel. She has to. Even if it was the last thing she did.

* * *

><p><strong>AN 3: No excuse why this was so late other than the plot was a little bit crooked for my liking. But I swear I already have the definite scenarios. And I'm finally happy with them. And believe me, the updates will come more regularly next. Finally, huh?**

**A/N 4:**** Song is still "Little Lion Man" by Mumford and Sons. REVIEW. PLEASE.**


	6. Happiness

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or any other materials I will use for this fic. Don't sue, okay? Also, I own all mistakes from here on.**

**A/N 1: I told you the update will come soon. Thank you for everyone who reviewed, I just needed to know that people are still interested. *insert Santana crying gif* And Oh. My. God. The angst, people, the angst. It's killing me.**

**A/N 2: Oh, and in case you missed it. ANGST. So much ANGST. You've been warned. Seriously, I cried while writing this chapter. God, THE ANGST.**

* * *

><p>"You're like a song that I heard when I was a little kid but forgot I knew until I heard it again." — Maggie Stiefvater<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 4<strong>

Rachel looked at her reflection in the dressing room's mirror. Her eyes were still suspiciously red. Her nose was definitely red. And she could see her lips starting to quiver once more.

If thoughts could be imprinted on a person's reflection, hers would say one word.

One name.

Quinn.

Always Quinn.

**Something always brings me back to you  
>It never takes too long<strong>

Twelve years. After all those years wondering where Quinn was, she finally lays her eyes on her blonde angel. There was no way to describe the emotions she felt when their eyes met at the bar. But maybe one way to explain it was to say that she felt like she was back in the tree house. At their tree house where they had no care in the world, where it was only her and Quinn.

But as soon as she saw Quinn's smirk, as soon as they spoke, everything crumbled. At first, she refused to believe that her Quinn was able to forget her. She tried to look for an explanation. Really, she was trying to save her heart. But in the end, when everything is staring at you in the face, how could you even start to deny?

But even after being broken, she still wishes Quinn was with her right now.

Rachel let out a humourless laugh. She looked at herself. Even after all that's happened it's still Quinn that occupies her mind.

"You're an idiot, Rachel Berry." She says with a sneer to her own reflection.

Now she understands what it feels like to drown in pain. It seemed so dramatic. It seemed so impossible to feel the ache she's feeling. But it's there. Digging into her soul, marking a hole in her heart.

**No matter what I say or do  
>I still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone<strong>

She still feels Quinn's soft skin and the way their bodies melted with so much familiarity. On the surface, if someone could have seen them, they looked like lovers. But inside, they were just doomed. But regardless, she closes her eyes, trying to remember, to savor her last moment with Quinn.

It was masochistic. But it was so much better than not feeling anything.

And Rachel suddenly wishes that she did not tear the calling card.

It was pathetic. It was desperate. To leave her calling card, just for the empty hope that Quinn might call. For what? Maybe for another fuck. Could she endure that? Maybe she could.

Rachel stares hard at her own eyes. Her brown orbs were swirling with wetness. No, her makeup is going to run down.

"Fuck you, Quinn."

* * *

><p><strong>You hold me without touch<br>You keep me without chains**

Quinn stood away from the bed where she and Rachel lay just hours ago. When she was sure that her legs wouldn't give out, she walked around the room.

Her mind was alert for just one thing. Rachel's calling card. Even if takes her forever, she would try to talk to Rachel. She would seek for her last second chance. If Rachel refuses, she would ask for some more. And if in the end, Rachel still refuses, she would try one more time.

And maybe if all else fails, if her transgressions were really too much to forgive, she would still try to call Rachel. She would try even just to tell her that she's sorry. To hear Rachel's voice one last time.

To say 'I love you' one last time.

**I never wanted anything so much  
>Than to drown in your own love and not feel your rain<strong>

When she couldn't find the card in her wallet, Quinn started to walk around the room trying to look for Rachel's card. She was starting to berate herself for not remembering where it is. But she rounds up the corner of the room, towards the small couch across the bed. And she sees it. Them.

Hundreds of pieces of paper.

She didn't have to go near the pile to know that it's gold colored. Like the color of the sun. But she approaches it anyway.

The realization hit her and pain settled in her chest. She doubled over to crouch over the unrecognizable pieces of paper. Rachel tore them. She never wants to see Quinn again.

Quinn let out an anguished cry because at that moment, she realized just how much pain she's caused Rachel. Does Rachel hate her? Maybe. She has every right to. But Quinn remembers her promise to herself. She will try. Just one more try. Maybe they can make it.

Maybe.

Quinn looked around the empty and now too-large room. And she wishes that there's still a tiny pinch of hope left. She touches the pieces of paper scattered around just beside her.

She whispers. And the air around her mourns because of how broken her voice sounds.

"Rachel, please don't hate me. One more chance. Please."

* * *

><p>Rachel broke down. She tries so much not to. She tries to hate Quinn. To loathe her. To wish her pain the same way she inflicted Rachel with.<p>

But she can't.

She can never hate Quinn. Even after everything, she still hopes that she'll see Quinn once more. To hold her once more. Maybe she will take it. Even if Quinn doesn't remember.

God, she'll do anything to make Quinn love her again.

It was pitiful. But when people love, when their hearts rule their souls as if there's nothing else that ever mattered, what is there left to do but to wish? How can you even start fighting something that has ruled your whole being?

**Set me free, leave me be  
>I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity<strong>

A tiny part of her is protesting. It's telling her that she doesn't deserve this. But almost all of her is crying for Quinn.

Just Quinn. Anything. She'll take anything she could.

And just like that, she breaks down. Goddamned makeup be damned.

If anyone passed by her now, they would say that she's being overly dramatic. With the way her arms are curled over her knees. With the way she can't even voice out her sobs, so much that they turn into quiet agony. With the way she slides from the chair she's sitting on to the floor.

It was heart-breaking to say the least.

But she was crushed. And yet she was hopeful for Quinn.

And really, there was nothing else she could do.

"Quinn."

* * *

><p>Quinn hugged her knees. She didn't care that she was slowly rocking herself because she just wants so much for Rachel to not hate her.<p>

She curses her father. She curses fate. She curses herself.

Why did they always have to come between her and happiness?

It wasn't until now that she manages to ask herself why after all the years of physical and emotional abuse is she still here.

And it hits her.

The reason why there was still a sliver of the old Quinn left.

The reason why she never really succumbed to her father's abuse.

The reason why she didn't just take her life.

The reason why she fought. Why she got out of Lima.

The reason why she kept the old poem in her wallet beside the old locket.

Rachel.

All along it was because of Rachel. Everything that kept her above the surface was for Rachel. Even if Quinn never consciously started looking for her, it was already like her own body was acting towards the sole purpose of finding Rachel.

Why else would Quinn have chosen New York?

Because even if the thought didn't pass her consciously, deep inside she knows that Rachel will be there. New York. The city of dreams.

**Here I am and I stand so tall  
>I'm just the way I'm supposed to be<br>But you're on to me and all over me**

And she breaks into tears once more. Because after twelve years, everything in her life makes sense again. But once more, she's on the verge of losing it.

She lives. She looks forward to the future. She fights.

She loves.

Because of Rachel. Only ever her Rachel.

* * *

><p>Rachel's sobs wracked her whole body. And shit, her makeup will soon start running down if she doesn't stop. So she forces the tears to stop flowing. She picks herself up, literally and figuratively. Finally, she locks onto her own reflection at the mirror in front of her.<p>

The damage was not yet beyond repair.

For the makeup or for her? Both, she thinks.

The makeup hadn't completely run down. It was nothing a few tissues and retouch couldn't fix. She starts to re-apply some of the makeup that was streaked with now-drying tears.

As she looks into her reflection, holding the brush and trying to salvage the damage, she tries to smile. Maybe it was not yet too late.

And she thinks of her childhood. With Quinn, of course. Always.

Happy memories.

_Lima, Ohio. Twelve yr. old Rachel's summer._

"_Ouch!" hisses a petulant Rachel Berry._

_Across her, a fifteen yr. old Quinn Fabray only chuckles and shakes her head. The blonde teenager proceeds to tenderly apply antiseptic at the skinned knee of the stubborn girl._

"_Quiiinnn. It hurts!" Rachel whines once more._

"_What did you expect, Rae?" Quinn says, momentarily stopping to look at the girl in front of her. "You knew that you can't ride a skateboard. But you just had to be so stubborn, didn't you?"_

_Rachel just pouts and crosses her arms while sticking her tongue out to the older girl. Of course she had to prove to those kids that she can skateboard. No one tells Rachel Berry that there was something she couldn't do and then get away with it. But, well, this time it backfired._

_Rachel harrumphed._

"_When I get to Broadway, I will tell my security not to let you in my dressing room. Mean person."_

_The blonde she considers her best friend just smirks and continued cleaning the dirt off the wound. Really, it was only a scratch. Rachel was sure Quinn wanted to say something along those lines. But she was Rachel Berry. Nobody ever tells her that she's overreacting._

_Quinn reached for the gauze to cover up the wound while Rachel looks at her with a smile now gracing her lips._

"_There. All patched up, my stubborn little star."_

_Rachel beamed at Quinn and leaned over to place a quick kiss on the blonde's cheek._

"_Thank you, Quinnie." Rachel says, almost shyly. In fact she was sure that her face was beet red._

_Quinn just smiles and looks at her with soft eyes._

**You loved me 'cause I'm fragile  
>When I thought that I was strong<strong>

Rachel finished retouching her makeup. And she smiles at her own reflection, still basking with the memory. It was the time after Quinn cleaned her skinned knee that she knew she was crushing on the blonde.

The smile in front of her was small, but she knows it's genuine.

And she feels a tinge hope light inside her. It was a trivial thing to think, but maybe there was still something left for Quinn and her.

Happy memories.

A knock at the dressing room door pulled her out from her own little world.

"Rachel, curtain opens in 10 minutes."

Rachel just nods. She smiles once more. Happy memories.

Show time.

* * *

><p>Quinn buries her head in her arms. How was she supposed to find Rachel now? The calling card was her only way to contact Rachel. God, how is she going to find her?<p>

She wanted to hurl the meagre contents of her stomach at the thought of not being able to find Rachel again. She couldn't imagine how she could go back to the way she's been living for the last twelve years after she finds out that the only thing separating her from her happiness are the streets of New York.

And Rachel is her happiness. She has been the only thing that makes sense for as long as she could remember. And Quinn remembers. Every detail etched meticulously in her brain.

She remembers discovering love for the first time.

**But you touch me for a little while  
>And all my fragile strength is gone<strong>

_Lima, Ohio. Fifteen yr. old Quinn's summer._

_Rachel pouted across her, sticking her tongue out occasionally._

"_When I get to Broadway, I will tell my security not to let you in my dressing room. Mean person." Rachel tells her with a little bit of whine in her voice._

_Pfft. As if. Rachel wouldn't do that. And if she ever had the guts to, Quinn will just hang around the balcony like a creepy stalker._

_Quinn continued to gingerly touch the skinned knee. She smirks. She wonders what Rachel would say if Quinn was to tell her that it's only a scratch. Probably a thousand word rant. The blonde discreetly looks at the brunette in front of her. For the love of all that is holy, she's twelve, but Quinn can't deny anymore that her best friend is really cute. And she's been crushing on this babbling brunette for some time now. Why not, though? She makes Quinn smile like nobody could._

_Quinn smoothed the edges of the gauze after covering the skinned knee._

"_There. All patched up, my stubborn little star."_

_Little star. She sighs, she's been used to calling Rachel that. Her little brunette, her little star. Her—_

_And then she feels Rachel's lips against her cheek. She was stunned. And she closes her eyes momentarily because she could still feel the warmth of Rachel's lips setting her body on fire._

"_Thank you, Quinnie." Rachel says and looks at her with a shy smile._

_And it was like seeing the brunette for the first time again. And the kiss was a confirmation of sorts to Quinn._

_Oh my God. She's in love with her best friend._

_She's in love with Rachel Berry._

Quinn's chuckles echo inside the empty room. That memory always overwhelms her. Until now, it rendered her completely speechless in awe of how one kiss could make everything fall into place. She didn't believe in fairy tales then, but that moment when Rachel Berry kissed her with a shy smile, she knows that her story have just begun.

The blonde brushed her hair with her hands. Now, if only she knows where to start finding Rachel.

**Set me free, leave me be  
>I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity<strong>

Wait.

"_When I get to Broadway, I will tell my security not to let you in my dressing room. Mean person."_

God. Rachel's play. She remembers that. Thank Rachel's babbling cast mates last night. There couldn't be that many off-Broadway shows playing Evita in the area.

And Quinn instantly throws on her clothes. She didn't think she ever dressed so fast. With that, she's finally running off, grabbing her phone.

She made a few calls to find out off-Broadway show schedules.

Finally, she gets a cab just after getting the address of the only theatre in the area that shows Evita.

"13th Street. Step on it."

As the cab saunters into the streets of New York with Quinn clutching Rachel's locket, a smile graces Quinn's lips.

Finally.

It's time to find Rachel.

* * *

><p>The applause was deafening. As the crowds continued to cheer in standing ovation, Rachel forgot about her heartache if only for a moment.<p>

If only Quinn was here.

She tried to drown herself in the applause and the cheers. She closed her eyes, trying to picture Quinn on the front aisle. Her heart feels suffocated. If only imaginations can be real.

**Here I am and I stand so tall  
>I'm just the way I'm supposed to be<br>But you're on to me and all over me**

The curtain slowly goes down. And Rachel doesn't know why, but it felt like it signified her last chance with Quinn. Before anybody could see the tears running down her cheeks, she runs towards her own dressing room leaving quizzical looking cast mates. It was like the day of the bipolar Rachel.

As soon as she reached her dressing room, she collapsed on the floor to cry again.

God, when will the crying stop?

There was a small knock, but Rachel was too focused on her own sadness to notice. Santana's head peeked from the door. The Latina was the last person she expected to check on her.

They regarded each other with questioning glances. And then Santana broke the silence.

"Quinn wasn't just a friend, was she?"

Rachel sat on the floor with tears streaming down her face. She looked up to her usually bitchy cast mate open mouthed.

Rachel started to speak.

"How—"

Santana raised an eyebrow as she interrupted Rachel.

"Please. With the looks you were giving each other yesterday, it was more obvious than Finn's puffy nipples."

Rachel chuckled at the not so subtle jibe towards her date last night.

"And then there was the whole two teenage girl thing. Love, promise and all the lalala shit you were babbling about yesterday."

Rachel just stared at her cast mate.

"Please. Midget, you don't give me enough credit."

Rachel's eyes welled up upon remembering last night. This is so fucked up. She sobbed. Normally, she would have tried to hide her tears. She is Rachel Berry, after all. She shows no weakness.

But this time, maybe crying was warranted. Maybe it was time the agony escaped along with her withering hope.

So she just sat there, heart-wrenching cries sounding across the whole room. Vaguely, she felt Santana's strong arms encircling her from the side.

"Shhh." Santana whispered.

And Rachel cried some more.

* * *

><p>Quinn was tapping her fingers on anything she could find. It feels like the drive is taking forever. She just wants to see Rachel. She wants to hold her. To tell her how sorry she is. To explain.<p>

To tell Rachel she loves her. Even after all those years.

The cabbie's stereo was in the middle of playing a familiar song.

**I live here on my knees  
>As I try to make you see<br>That you're everything I think I need  
>Here on the ground<strong>

How will she even start when she sees Rachel?

How will Quinn tell her that just like the song, Rachel is literally everything she needs? It sounds so cliché. But clichés are our honest truths. No matter how many times repeated between two people.

And God, how she loves Rachel Berry.

"Hey, how long 'til we get there?" Quinn finally asks the driver.

"Not long, Miss."

Quinn closes her eyes once more. In a few moments she'll see Rachel again. She cannot wait. She just wants her little brunette. It's becoming repetitive now. But it is what her heart shouts. It is what her soul yearns for.

Rachel.

'Not long' has never seemed so long.

* * *

><p>"I love her, San. I love her so much." Rachel sobs into her cast mate's shoulder.<p>

"I know."

Santana looks at Rachel. The diva's eyes were full of tears. Her face is red from all the crying and wailing. In anyone's opinion, it is the look of someone so deep in agony.

But Santana sees something else. She sees the eyes of someone holding on to hope of all hopes.

She sees a Rachel Berry drowning in love and sadness. And the grip of the invisible hand on her heart chokes her as she looks at her friend. She has never seen Rachel like this.

And all she wants is to ease her friend's pain.

"Rachel, c'mon. Let's get out of here. We can talk at the coffee shop across the street."

Rachel stays silent. But she's thankful because someone is there. Even if it's not Quinn. She rose to her feet and let Santana guide her towards the door.

**But you're neither friend nor foe  
>Though I can't seem to let you go<strong>

* * *

><p>Quinn is being assaulted by a plethora of fears. She is almost afraid that her heart would suddenly burst out of her chest with how fast it is beating.<p>

What if she ends up in the wrong place?

What if it's already too late? What if Rachel hates her now?

What if she never finds her happiness again?

**The one thing that I still know  
>Is that you're keeping me down<strong>

Quinn shook her head to keep the thoughts away.

She can feel it. And she just knows that she will meet Rachel again for the second time in the last twelve years. And she will make sure to get it right this time.

How she knows this? She has no idea.

But she just knows it.

Maybe because in the middle of all the clusterfuck that her life has become, her heart, her soul was really intertwined with Rachel's. Maybe it really is destiny.

At that moment, Quinn Fabray has never put so much faith on happily ever after.

She was pulled out of everything when she realized something.

The taxi is stopping.

* * *

><p>Santana ushered Rachel from out the building. The smaller brunette is still holding on to her for dear life.<p>

And Santana sees a speeding cab stop on the other side of the street.

A blonde head started to emerge from the passenger's side. The Latina's eyes widened.

Is that—?

Holy. Shit.

* * *

><p>Two figures emerged from the building.<p>

And it was all Quinn needed to see. She found Rachel again. It's her last second chance.

She tosses a fifty at the cabbie's direction before it completely pulled up. She was out the door in a split second, not even bothering to close it. Sara Bareilles' voice following her.

**You're keeping me down**

* * *

><p>"Rachel."<p>

"Rachel. Rachel. Rachel."

Rachel hears Santana's quivering voice full of excitement. She looked up at her cast mate who was the least likely she has expected to comfort her in this moment.

Santana was wide eyed.

"Quinn." The Latina blurted out.

Rachel's brows furrowed. She doesn't comprehend. Why would Santana say Quinn's name?

And then she feels her face being cupped by Santana's strong hands.

Rachel's eyes widened. Is Santana going to kiss her? Oh, no, no, no.

But then she feels her face being turned towards the street in front of them.

And then Rachel heard _her_.

* * *

><p>"Rachel!"<p>

Tears streaked down Quinn's beautiful face in the middle of New York's chilly evening. Everything was a blur. She could see only Rachel.

**You're on to me, on to me and all over**

Rachel is staring at her. And Quinn felt a surge of emotions hit her when those beautiful brown orbs connected with her hazel ones.

"Rachel!" She shouts again.

She started to run. So that she could scoop Rachel in her arms. Spin her around. Kiss her.

Only Rachel.

Rachel is still staring at her. She sees her little star's expression turn from surprise to longing.

Quinn clutches the locket in her palms.

Rachel started crying, looking for support in Santana's arms.

Quinn starts to smile. She hears the faint music coming from the cabbie that was yet to speed away.

**Something always brings me back to you**

She's finally back at Rachel's presence. Her happiness. Her little brunette. Her little star.

Her love.

She watches Rachel's face turn from longing to happiness—unbelievable happiness. And then her face morphed to horror. Just the same time Santana's did.

"Quinn! No!"

Quinn stared, confused for a second. And then white light blinded her from the right. She hears the impact rather than feel it. A sickening crunch of body hitting cement.

"Quinn!"

Quinn stared upwards. When did she face the sky?

Rachel's face peered over her, glorious chestnut hair cascading on her shoulders.

"Rachel…" She said weakly, touching the brunette's face.

Rachel can hear a commotion. Somebody calling 911. People shouting. Cars screeching. Santana screaming. Footsteps approaching.

But she sees only Quinn.

"Rae, I love you."

Rachel closed her eyes and willed herself not to faint. Quinn loves her. Quinn still loves her. God, why is this always their fate? Why is destiny so cruel to them?

Rachel eased her lover's head. She could feel the stickiness of the blood in her hand. Quinn's blood. But it didn't matter at that moment.

"Shhh, Quinn, baby, don't talk."

Quinn smiled, dazed.

"Rae, I found you."

**It never takes too long**

It felt like déjà vu. It felt like the car accident twelve years ago. Quinn is afraid that Rachel's not really in front of her. But she feels a hand smaller than her own grip hers.

Two hands gripping one locket.

And she just knows that this time it's real.

Rachel is here. She found Rachel.

This is not the Lima skyline. She's in New York.

With Rachel. Chasing happiness.

Her little star is glowing. A perfect combination with the mesmerizing New York sky. Beautiful. Rachel is beautiful. Always beautiful.

Always her Rachel.

Her vision started to dim. And she fights again to keep her eyes open. She's tethering to unconsciousness.

"Quinn!"

Her vision is becoming dark and blurred. She just wants to see Rachel again. She doesn't want to get lost. She wants to be wherever Rachel is.

Rachel is sobbing. No, little star, don't cry.

She wanted to open her mouth, to speak, to kiss Rachel. But she finds that she doesn't even have the strength to breathe.

She's being pulled towards a spiralling sea of oblivion. But she holds on because amidst Rachel's sobs, falling tears and her own pain, she hears something.

Something she has always wanted to hear.

"Quinn, I love you too. Quinn, please."

It was all Quinn ever needed. To hear those words was like fulfilling the happiness of a lifetime.

It was unfair that it had to be this way when Rachel first tells Quinn she loves her.

But it will have to do.

And so Quinn smiles.

Finally.

The locket falls on the ground.

And Rachel's scream fills the busy New York street.

"QUINN!"

* * *

><p><strong>AN 3: Now, Imma go watch me some Achele GG kiss and burrow myself in some hole where you cannot hurl tomatoes at me or my laptop. Go on convince me to write the next chapter faster. *evil laugh* But kidding aside, tell me what you think. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. I cannot stress that hard enough.**

**A/N 4: Song is "Gravity" by Sara Bareilles. I really hope you all have heard of this wonderful song.**


	7. Sunsets and Promises

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or any other materials I will use for this fic. Don't sue, okay? Also, I own all mistakes from here on.**

**A/N 1: Thank you guys so much for the response last chapter! And so here's another chapter for everyone. (Sorry it took longer than necessary.) You can visit my tumblr if you want: ryiah03 (.) tumblr (.) com**

**A/N 2: Oh, and I scoured medical forums for this chapter. And basically, I have gotten no definitive answer for a specific question I was asking. But I tried to incorporate here what I have researched for this chapter. I am not in the medical profession, so don't take everything written here to the letter and slam me later because I got something wrong. This is fiction, okay?**

* * *

><p>"Francois Rabelais. He was a poet. And his last words were 'I go to seek a Great Perhaps.' That's why I'm going. So I don't have to wait until I die to start seeking a Great Perhaps." — John Green<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 5<strong>

All her life, Rachel Berry was about the drama. And she always got her fair share of satisfying results brought by a constant craving for drama. But right now, she couldn't help but question if this is fate's way of punishing her. Did the cosmic powers of the universe decide to slap her upside the head saying, 'Hey little girl, here's your drama'?

She looked around the white room of the ICU. The pristine walls, the modest but functional bedside table, and the small television alternated in her gaze. Her mind briefly questioned if hospitals spend much of their time planning how to make people feel like the walls are closing in. Because it is exactly how she feels whenever her eyes wander to the blonde lying peacefully on the hospital bed.

Cliché and drama, it is what have become of her life now, she thinks. As Rachel trailed her fingertips on the blonde's arms, she revelled at the feel of touching the smooth skin of the woman. Bronzed skin continued to trail up to caress the pale but flawless cheeks. Quinn is beautiful. There is no other way to describe her.

Rachel closed her eyes, trying to force back the tears that are dangerously close to escaping. She looked on, as if in a trance. Quinn is right beside her once again.

"Quinn."

It fell from her lips like a feather light kiss. She whispered like a lonely night's soft blown wind, touching her sleeping lover. Her lips trembled. There were so many emotions twirling inside her, taking her into an unknown dance. She shook her head and strands of chestnut hair fell out of place.

She tells herself to stop crying. But the tears fell nonetheless. Salty liquid fell down from her cheeks to caress her lips and cover a broken heart.

"It's going to be okay." She tells herself. Santana's words resonating in her wake. For the time being, it is the only thing she wanted to believe.

_New York City, New York. 45 hours ago._

"_QUINN!"_

_She stared at Quinn's limp body, blood gushing out of somewhere in her fragile state. It was surreal. The cliché of all clichés was staring Rachel in the face. She looked down at the glittering object in her palm, the locket. And just like that, the dam broke. Hysterical sobs escaped her, unstoppable tears flowed, and she leaned down to kiss Quinn on the lips, all the while whispering her name._

_From a stranger's point of view, it was like a climax in a romantic movie. But to Rachel, it was all real. Yes, this is the climax, and she couldn't wait to get to the dull parts._

_Rachel closed her eyes, tears flowing freely and into Quinn's serene face. The young singer immediately opened her eyes just as fast as she closed them. The images between the closed lids were just too much. Everything was being played on replay in slow motion. She could see the speeding car hit Quinn's body, Quinn soaring mid-air, Quinn's body hitting the pavement, and Quinn mouthing 'I love you' for what could be the last time._

_And it was fucking torture. Do you know that feeling of watching someone you love crumble in front of your eyes and you couldn't do anything about it? It was exactly that. The pain of not being able to run fast enough, of not even being able to move because your body just froze, it was pure agony. And Rachel couldn't remember anything else. She just found herself beside Quinn, staring at the blonde's beautiful face illuminated by the lights of the New York skyline._

_Someone started to pry her arms away from Quinn's body. Rachel reached blindly. No one is going to ever take her angel away again. Déjà vu. Rachel felt like her thirteen year old self again, young and terrified after a very rude awakening. For a moment, she could smell Mr. Fabray's perfume, feel the fabric of her daddy's jacket. And it was terrifying yet mildly euphoric. Terrifying because she seemed to be reliving the past when she was taken away from Quinn. Euphoric because it is as if her body recounted the elation of waking up in her angel's arms, albeit rudely._

_She just felt an overwhelming urge to fight the past. Their past. Rachel wasn't able to do anything when she was thirteen and frightened as her daddy carried her away from the tree house. Their tree house. But she's not thirteen anymore, so she does the one thing she should have done the day she was reaching out while her daddy hugged her tightly, whispering reassurances._

_She breaks free. And she runs back to Quinn's arms._

_It was dreamlike, a reconstruction of sorts, an answer to a thousand 'what ifs' passing in and out of her for the past twelve years._

_But she wasn't at the tree house. And it wasn't her daddy's arms encircling her._

_And the truth is, no one can change the past. Clichés be damned._

_A resounding crack awakened her from the surreal state she seemed to have fallen into. At first, she didn't know what to make of the sound, but the sting began while the chirping birds and Lima breeze disappeared from her senses._

_She feels the painful warmth spreading in her left cheek. And she sees Santana crying in front of her, right hand slightly raised in the air._

_Just like that, the haziness disappeared completely. Noises enveloped her. People's whispers can be heard. The loud ambulance siren registered in her senses. She suddenly felt weak on the knees, as if only truly realizing what had happened._

_She was falling. But strong arms caught her. She looked up and saw Santana's eyes wet with tears looking down at her. Rachel turns to the Latina's neck and sobbed, not caring the she was ruining her cast mate's collar. Santana didn't seem to mind. And the smaller brunette hears the whispered words._

"_Shhh." "It's all going to be okay." "Let them do their job."_

_Rachel broke down. The realization assaulted her in full force._

_All of this is real. It's all real._

_Quinn._

_She struggles once more from the iron grip. But Santana just held on a little bit tighter._

"_It's going to be okay, Rach."_

_Rachel looked up at fiery eyes in front of her usually stoic cast mate. When she hears Santana say it, she just wants to believe it. So she looked up, and Santana understands what the deep brown eyes gazing at her were asking for._

_The Latina swallows her emotions and said two words that she may later regret. But with the hopeful brown eyes clinging to her like she was a life raft, how could she deny Rachel? So she says it._

"_I promise."_

_The deep, shuddering breathe of false relief Rachel let out would be enough at the moment._

Back in Quinn's room, Santana's words echoed in Rachel's mind. Another promise. It was unfair to ask something like that from Santana. It was selfish. But Rachel was willing to hold on to anything she could when it comes to Quinn.

Her eyes fall back on Quinn. And she tries to remember those last moments before Quinn fell unconscious in her arms.

Quinn loves her. After all those times, Quinn still loves her. The locket in her hand was a proof that Quinn held on to a piece of Rachel after all those years. It was enough to tell her that somewhere, in Quinn's heart, there resided the hope that they will someday meet again. Just the same to what kept Rachel's dreams alive after all those years.

Deep brown eyes shimmering with tears raked down the body in front of her. Quinn still held the serene smile she did before the paramedics took her away from the accident. And it told Rachel that her lover is happy now, even if she was swimming somewhere in her dreamland.

Her gaze focuses on the endless wires and tubes attached to the fragile body. The silent rise and fall of the respirator pounded in her ears. The vague beeping of the machine was making her breath hitch.

Rachel wiped her eyes as broken laughter escaped her. She remembered all of the times spent watching sappy movies and imagining that she was the character. Her fists shook and her palms reddened because of the nails digging into it. How could she have once thought of something so stupid? And she suddenly despised all those movies for putting the ideas in her naïve mind.

It was not really drama. No, she couldn't categorize it like that. It was more like fucking torture. It was like black fire building in from the inside of one's soul and spreading like an unstoppable wild fire, torturing someone for the rest of their life.

Yeah, that was more like it.

She wiped her eyes again. And she settled to look at Quinn's peaceful smile.

"Quinn." She breathed out.

"Quinn," she repeats, "can you hear me?" She laughs but only a broken sound escaped her. As if Quinn could answer. Delusional, that's her. But what else could she do?

"You know I'm still kind of angry with you. And we will have some serious conversations when you wake up." She broke into sobs again. It was like being bi-polar.

"It's almost sunset now. Your favorite time of day," Rachel paused and added, "No, our favorite time of day."

With that, their childhood spent frolicking in the tree house rushed through and her tears flowed again.

"Quinn." She repeated, the blonde's name igniting a sliver of hope in her. "Quinn I need you to wake up."

Rachel cradled the pale slender hands on the bed and brought their joined hands to her lips. For a minute she just cried in silence, her kisses conveying to the comatose woman the overwhelming desperation in her heart.

"I need you to wake up." She whispers hoarsely. "If you can hear me, you need to wake up. There are so many things I have to say. I need you to keep your promise. Quinn, I will wait for you, just please wake up." To talk to Quinn like this, so full of desperation, was tearing her apart. It was tormenting, but she needed to get this out.

Just in case Quinn is listening.

"I need you to not give up. Please don't give up. I don't think I can lose you again." Rachel collapsed in another round of bout with her tears. But with trembling voice, she struggled to say the words. "Quinn, I can't lose you again this time. I've waited for too long. I can't lose you again. I can't." She repeats it like a mantra, urging Quinn to listen.

Rachel brushed the rogue golden strands that have fallen into Quinn's face.

"Quinn, please wake up." It was a seemingly useless plea and she knows it. But she continues, "Quinn I need to tell you that I love you. I love you so much. I need you to hear it from me. I need you to say it back again." Her voice turned into hushed whispers, professing everything she held inside her for twelve long years.

It was numbing. To have to say she loves Quinn when they couldn't even see each other's eyes. But it will do. So Rachel brings their tangled hands once more to her lips, whispering hushed words, hoping against all hope that the palm enclosed within hers will move.

But they didn't move. Quinn didn't move. She couldn't even breathe on her own. And Rachel succumbed to broken sobs and quiet pleas. She briefly wondered if they've ran out of second chances. Was there a limit to how many times destiny can mend a broken heart?

She looked up to send a message to whoever was listening.

"Please," she struggles because of her trembling voice and shaking hands, "just one more chance."

And because she's Rachel Berry, she sings. But even more than that, she sings because Quinn would love it.

**I can't win, I can't reign  
>I will never win this game<br>Without you  
>Without you<strong>

* * *

><p><em>Quinn looked around her, taking in her surroundings. It was confusing, to say the least. Endless array of trees loomed ahead. She could see the faint glow of the sun over the horizon. The birds were chirping somewhere, but she just doesn't know where.<em>

_Where is where, anyway?_

_She walked cautiously and as quietly as she could, senses on overdrive. But there was something in the place that gave familiar warmth she couldn't quite place. So she let her tensed body relax a little, surveying the trees. It was silent, other than the sounds that the birds were making._

_It puzzled her. She continued walking. She heard someone calling her name. A voice that has been imprinted on her memory the first time she heard it._

_Rachel._

"_Quinn!"_

_Hazel eyes were suddenly alert, looking for the small brunette. Where is Rachel?_

"_Quinn! Hey!" She heard the giggling voice._

"_Rach?" She asks, unsure if she was just hearing things. "Rach? Is that you? Where are you?"_

"_Up here!" Shouts the excited voice._

_Quinn looked up, it was like déjà vu. Just like the time she first met Rachel. She was even wearing the same cute red dress and knee socks. And just like before, Quinn feels the same magical experience brought by meeting one Rachel Berry. It was like starting over again, magical lights meeting a vibrant harmony._

_Quinn smiled. She smiled because she could see Rachel's face and the way the sun's glow bounced on the little girl's features._

_And Quinn was puzzled. Rachel was young again? How did that happen? She looked at her own hands. And even without a mirror, she was pretty sure that her body is that of an adult's._

"_Quinn! Quinn! Come up here!"_

_It utterly confused the blonde. But this is Rachel, so she shrugged her shoulders and made her way up. When she reached the top, she was met by a full-blown Rachel Berry smile. And Quinn had to smile. She had gone too long without seeing Rachel's beaming smile._

_Rachel motioned for her to take a seat. So she plopped at the place the brunette was patting. There were a few moments of silence. It was already clear to Quinn that Rachel indeed is a seven year old. And it was bizarre, also a little bit wrong to be feeling the thumping in her heart._

"_You're confused." Rachel said, startling the blonde from her thoughts. It was not a question._

_Quinn just shrugged. "Well, yeah. You're seven and I'm twenty-eight. How could I not be confused?"_

_Rachel smiled. She had this faraway look for a seven year old, Quinn observed._

"_You've locked me deep inside you." Rachel said. Still a statement._

_It was true again. Quinn had this memory locked so that her father couldn't touch it. She locked it to the deepest parts of her soul so that not even her could taint the first memories with Rachel. At her silence, Rachel nudged her. Hazel met brown again, and Quinn felt her eyes well up. It was all too much. She felt like this was a second chance of sorts._

_Little hands lifted to wipe away the stray tears, and Quinn cried even harder._

"_Hey," Rachel's voice called lightly, "Don't cry."_

"_Why are we here?" Quinn asked after wiping her eyes._

"_How do I explain this?" Rachel tilted her head up, and Quinn's lips quirked up at the adorable little girl, "Technically, 'we' are not here. It's all you. You're thinking about me. Very flattering, I might add."_

_Quinn raised an eyebrow, analysing what the girl just said. It's true._

"_So why am I here?"_

_Rachel shrugged. "I don't know. You wanted to visit me. So here we are. If anyone should be asking, it should be me. What do you want to do?"_

"_Nothing really. Let's just watch the sunset?"_

_And Rachel smiled her beaming smile._

* * *

><p>Rachel's soulful voice never trembled despite the emotions she was feeling. She drowned herself in her own voice, hoping to convey everything she wanted to say. It didn't matter anymore if Quinn could hear her.<p>

She sings because of Quinn.

For Quinn.

**I am lost, I am vain  
>I will never be the same<br>Without you  
>Without you<br>**

* * *

><p><em>Quinn looked out the small window of the tree house. She breathed the sweet breeze carried by the wind. And she felt something she has never felt in a long time.<em>

_Contentment._

_She turned to where Rachel was sitting and saw the brunette looking at her with amusement twinkling in her brown orbs._

"_What?"_

_Rachel shrugged._

"_You're not very verbose right now." Quinn said in a light teasing tone._

_Rachel huffed and crossed her arms. Quinn let out a hearty laugh._

"_Good to know some things never change."_

_Her only answer was Rachel's childish giggling.  
><em>

* * *

><p>Rachel clutched Quinn's hand just a bit tighter. A part of her was hoping that maybe if she just held Quinn tight enough, it will wake her up. That maybe if she could sing the way she reserved only for the blonde girl—soft and quiet like a feather's touch—then maybe it would wake Quinn up.<p>

And the songstress proceeded to do what she's best at. Wearing her heart on her sleeve, she continued the song.

**I won't run, I won't fly  
>I will never make it by<br>Without you  
>Without you<strong>

* * *

><p><em>Quinn looked around, startled. She looked at Rachel to see if the girl heard the soft, whisper-like voice just a moment ago. When the girl appeared to be enjoying the setting of the sun, Quinn just put it at the back of her head, chucking it as crazy thoughts from sitting across a seven year old Rachel Berry.<em>

"_You've always loved the sunset." Rachel said softly, interrupting Quinn' thoughts once more._

"_Yeah, I still do. It was the first time we've met."_

"_But there's pain whenever you gaze at the colors, why?"_

_The matter-of-factly way Rachel spoke with puzzled Quinn. But Rachel was right. Somehow, after they were forced apart, the sunset never looked quite the same to her. It became less colorful. It bore a painful memory. But even so, she always headed out to the Lima Park whenever Russell has blacked out from too much whiskey. Yes, there was always a dull ache, but there was also hope._

_She settled her gaze back to the small girl still waiting for her answer._

"_You were taken away from me at sunset."_

_And Rachel just nodded in understanding.  
><em>

* * *

><p>Rachel's voice echoed in the white walls of the room. Her tears were steady, but so was her voice. And as she sang softly, knowing just how true the lyrics are.<p>

Her life can be classified into two parts; times when Quinn was there and when Quinn was not there. And even if it was only a night ago that she saw the blonde after twelve years, there was already a barrier set up. And right here, knowing that there is chance waiting for her and Quinn, she knows she will just have to plead her case to whoever was listening. Rachel held on to the tiny twinge of hope in her heart that maybe someone out there will take pity and give them another chance.

Another chance. This time, to get it right.

**I can't rest, I can't fight  
>All I need is you and I<br>Without you  
>Without you<br>**

* * *

><p><em>Quinn closed her eyes. There were too many emotions grappling inside her, gripping her, encasing her. When she opened her eyes, panic shot through her. It was dark. Where is here?<em>

_There was a sound coming from the back. Her shoulders tensed again. It felt like the time she stepped into the Lima Park. Wait, where is Rachel? Her heart thumped because of the familiar fear she was feeling. She cannot lose Rachel again._

_And then a bright light blinded her. Looking around her, the light was revealed to be a spotlight and she was in a stage of some sort. But still, where is Rachel? As if to answer her question, a figure started walking towards her. At first she couldn't see because of the blinding light, but when the person got closer, she could see a smiling Rachel. This time, the brunette is in her twenties._

_That's more like it, Quinn thought as the woman approached._

_Quinn started walking and held her hand out to meet Rachel at the middle of the spotlight. Who knew spotlights could be so big? But then they finally met at the middle._

_Rachel's fingers laced with her own. It was all Quinn could do to stop crying.  
><em>

* * *

><p>Rachel looked down at their intertwined hands as she continued singing softly for Quinn. She looked at the window on the other side of the room. It was almost sunset, just like what she told Quinn. Time was nearing approaching that single second when it was still day and then a single second after it will be night.<p>

It was fascinating. Rachel has often wondered if she could live at that moment. Imagine if you could live at that transition period, both day and night melding together. It would be amazing.

Rachel looked back once more to Quinn's face. The smile never left the blonde. It was still the same soft smile. Briefly, Rachel wonders, could Quinn be living at that second where it is the middle of day and night?

She smiles at the thought.

**Oh, oh, oh  
>You, you, you<br>Without  
>You, you, you<strong>

* * *

><p><em><strong>Without you<strong>_

"_Did you hear that?" Quinn asked Rachel._

_Their hands were still intertwined. While Quinn basked in the feeling, she was still puzzled of the soft singing she heard._

"_Hear what?"_

_Quinn listened again, the voice was gone now. And she panics momentarily. She doesn't know why, but at the short period she heard the voice, it wakened something inside her. She feels Rachel tug her hand softly, and all her worries disappear._

_The blonde shook her head. "Nothing, don't mind me Rach."_

_She grips the smaller hand just a bit tighter.  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>Can't erase, so I'll take blame<br>****But I can't accept that we're estranged**

She looked for Quinn. Rachel looked for Quinn. As soon as she hit eighteen, she went back to Lima. She searched high and low for the Fabrays but all she found was Judy's tombstone. She went to the Fabray mansion, but the house that was once high and mighty wasn't there anymore.

No one could tell her anything. The only thing she really found out was the accident. After that, they said that the Fabrays dropped out of the radar. She went to their tree house because she had hoped to maybe find Quinn there, just waiting.

It was delusional, but she was holding on to a promise.

**Without you  
>Without you<br>**

* * *

><p><em>They were now sitting side by side in the middle of the spotlight, much like they were at the tree house. The only difference is that Rachel is not a child anymore.<em>

"_I've always imagined this." Quinn whispered, afraid that if she talked too loud, it will all go away._

"_I know, doofus."_

_Quinn quirked a brow at Rachel's direction. Everything was puzzling. Everything felt like a dream._

"_How did you know?"_

"_This is still you, Quinn. Technically, this is you hiding me inside you."_

_It still didn't make a lot of sense to her. But Rachel was here now. And it was everything that mattered.  
><em>

* * *

><p>Rachel wondered, if someone could see her now, what would they say? Santana visited just a few hours ago. And the Latina told her she looked like shit, all the while hugging her tightly. Some of her cast mates dropped by too and they all told her to get some sleep. But what if Quinn wakes up? She needs to be awake or at least by her side.<p>

She tried picturing herself, singing to Quinn, and Quinn waking up. She almost sobbed at the thought. But she held strong, voice unwavering.

**I can't quit now, this can't be right  
>I can't take one more sleepless night<br>Without you  
>Without you<strong>

It felt like the blood was rushing through her ears. She couldn't hear anything but her slightly tremulous voice.

She doesn't hear the slightly higher pitched beep in the machine hooked to Quinn.

* * *

><p>"<em>So, you've imagined me in a Broadway stage. Apparently, with us in the middle."<em>

_Quinn smiled at Rachel's implication. The diva was pleased._

"_Of course. You've always belonged to the stage."_

_Rachel looked at her and smiled. The blonde brought their clasped fingers into her lips and kissed the knuckles of Rachel's hand. Her little star was looking at her in adoration. Rachel reached out to ruffle Quinn's hair._

"_Even if you told me that you were going to tell security that I was a crazy stalker that should not be permitted in your dressing room."_

_Rachel scoffed playfully at her and Quinn stretched her face with a cheeky grin._

"_You know, there are these things that humans say sometimes," Quinn looked at the brunette, she seemed serious. "Well, they say things sometimes that are called jokes," Rachel raised her other hand that was not clasped with Quinn's to form an air quote. "Perhaps you've heard of a joke?"_

_Quinn let out a full belly laugh. And as she looked at deep brown eyes twinkling with mirth, she felt something that she never thought she would feel again._

_Happiness.  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>I won't soar, I won't climb<br>****If you're not here, I'm paralyzed**

Rachel closed her eyes, reeling in the lyrics that hit so close to home. All of her rational sense told her to stop hoping. The logical Rachel Berry was lecturing her, telling her that this is stupid, that one stupid song will not wake Quinn up.

If her mind can walk, it would have walked up to her and told her that they know these things, they've researched these things. Comatose patients do not have brain activity. They do not dream. They have no sense of space and time. They are lost in oblivion.

But Rachel's heart would argue. She would argue that there are things that even science could not explain, things that are beyond comprehension. And she just needed to trust that even in the middle of oblivion, Quinn would find her.

Quinn's promise. It was all Rachel could hold on to.

**Without you  
><strong>

* * *

><p><em><strong>Without you<strong>_

_Quinn's laugh abruptly stopped as she heard the voice, just a bit louder than the last one._

"_Did you hear that?" She asked Rachel, her brows furrowing._

_Rachel raised an eyebrow._

"_Hear what?"_

_Quinn strained her ears to catch the remnants of the voice, but she was met with silence. She could hear only her and Rachel's breathing. She saw Rachel smiling at her, and shaking her head._

"_C'mon, Quinn. Let's head out."_

_She felt the smaller woman pulling at her. Her feet moved to match Rachel's steps._

_She would follow her little star anywhere.  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>I can't look, I'm so blind<br>****I lost my heart, I lost my mind  
><strong>**Without you  
><strong>**Without you**

Rachel closed her eyes, drowning out everything and pulling all her emotions to convey everything into the song.

Her eyes were screwed shut.

She didn't see the twitch of Quinn's other hand.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Oh, oh, oh<br>**__**You, you, you**_

_Quinn opened her eyes, they were at the pier. The sun was setting at the horizon. But all she could think of was the voice that was now clearer._

"_Rachel! Do you hear that?"_

_Rachel stopped swinging their hands and plopped down at a bench. They were alone, Quinn wouldn't have had it any other way._

_**Without  
>You, you, you<br>Without you**_

"_There! There it is again! Did you hear it?" Quinn exclaimed at the brunette with eager eyes because it was impossible that Rachel didn't hear the voice._

"_Watch the sunset, Quinn."_

_Quinn frowned slightly, "But did you hear the voice?"_

_Rachel just stared ahead and smiled.  
><em>

* * *

><p>Rachel finally opened her eyes. She caressed Quinn's cheeks, trailing her fingers down to the blonde's jaw. Her thoughts were running wild. They were trying to keep up with her song, pulling her closer and closer.<p>

I need you, she says in her mind.

I love you, she hopes it reaches Quinn's soul.

**I am lost, I am vain  
>I will never be the same<br>**

* * *

><p>"<em>Rach…" Quinn whined slightly.<em>

"_Watch the sunset, Quinn."_

_She let out a resigned sigh._

"_What do you wish for right now, Quinn?"_

_Quinn smiled at the question._

"_I want to follow the sun. To go around and around."_

"_Why?" Rachel asked, still staring at the horizon._

"_Because if I could, then I get to watch it with you." Quinn answered. After a moment of silence, she quietly added, "Forever."_

_When she turned to look at Rachel, she saw the colors in the deep chocolate eyes. There was a smile tugging in the singer's lips. The brunette turned to her, and Quinn felt her own intensity reflected in Rachel's eyes._

_They leaned towards each other, breathes mingling. And just before their lips met, Quinn found something that she lost a long time ago._

_Love.  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>Without you<strong>

Rachel leaned across the bed. She closed her eyes. And with the most love from all the world, her lips touched Quinn's cheeks.

* * *

><p><em>The kiss felt too short. When Rachel pulled back, her eyes were soft. They bore into Quinn's heart and pierced through her soul.<em>

"_It's your move now Quinn. Keep your promise."_

_**Without you**_

_Quinn started to question the brunette what she meant. She opened her mouth to ask if she heard the voice. Because it was there again._

_But then there was only darkness. And the feeling of swimming upwards in deep, deep well.  
><em>

* * *

><p>Rachel kept her lips close to Quinn's jaw. She murmured the last line of the song, almost breathing it into Quinn's ears, hoping that Quinn could hear her.<p>

**Without you**

Then she felt it all at once. The light pressure in her hands. The crazy beeping of the machine beside the bed.

And then it happened.

Hazel eyes met teary brown ones.

They almost didn't make it to sunset.

* * *

><p><strong>AN 3: This was hell to write. Getting the right timing was very difficult, and I just hope I've delivered. Please tell me what you guys think. REVIEW. I love reading your reviews. If I wasn't able to reply, maybe I missed it, I'm sorry for that. If I missed your review, you can send me a message at my inbox. You guys are the best! Happy reading! REVIEW!**

**A/N 4: The song is "Without You," Lea Michele's version of course. *sigh* Now I can listen to the song with another imagery in my mind. If you guys watched the Yes/No episode last time, you know what I'm talking about! **


	8. Home

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or any other materials I will use for this fic. Don't sue, okay? Also, I own all mistakes from here on.**

**A/N 1: A shout out to tumblr user agronskysarfati because she gave me the idea for the song to use this chapter. I got it from her Faberry fanmix. Totally cool song selection, you guys should check it out. **

**A/N 2: Thanks for the awesome response for last chapter. Again, same warning applies, I'm not in the medical profession/service/whatever. Please don't slam me if I get something wrong. Without further ado, I give to you the next chapter. Happy reading!**

* * *

><p>"'Some people don't understand the promise they're making when they make them,' I said.<br>'Right, of course. But you keep the promise anyway. That's what love is. Love is keeping the promise anyway.' "— John Green, _The Fault In Our Stars_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 6<strong>

Hazel met brown. Just like before, it was an explosion of sorts.

Rachel's mind began racing hundreds of miles a minute. She's read a lot of things regarding waking up from coma. Disorientation, brain damage, memory loss. And she was worried. What if Quinn doesn't remember her? She was frozen on spot. It felt like eternity where two eyes danced around each other, not quite knowing just what the music was.

Really, it was less than a minute. But to Rachel it almost felt like another twelve years passed her by before she became aware of the crazy beeping of the machines around the room. They were driving her to chaos, to the confusion inside her mind. She must have had that look in her eyes. Because after another round of agonizing seconds, Quinn reached up, painfully slow in Rachel's opinion. But still, pale, slender fingers reached up to remove the plastic mask from the respirator.

"Rae."

It was all Rachel needed. All she will ever need.

The sound of her name coming from the hoarse, dry throat of Quinn that sounded like it was closing up sprang the brunette to action. She didn't really know the exact state of Quinn's mind at the moment, but she uttered Rachel's name.

And that was enough.

"Nurse! Nurse!" Rachel shouted as she hurriedly ran out of the room. "Nurse!"

She may have looked like a mad woman. But she didn't care. And actually, maybe she was. Quinn found her. And she found Quinn. To have a promise fulfilled after such a long time was like finding a lost puppy to a child or finding a lost child to a mother or finding love after you've forgotten what it felt like. And really, who wouldn't go mad at that?

Rachel kept herself at the back of the room while the doctors probed and poked at Quinn. Sometimes she would hear the blonde's occasional complains, and the small brunette would smile, because Quinn sounded almost like her older self.

She busied herself to texting Santana. The Latina was mostly the one who put up with her for the last two days. Two days. It seemed longer than that. Maybe it was. When you're waiting for love to wake up and being alone while watching the sun pass by, two days felt like hell. So she texted her fiery but with a heart cast mate, informing her that Quinn was awake.

Rachel was having an inner turmoil. Yes, she's happy that Quinn is finally awake. And that she's free to lie beside her. But anxiousness also began to seep in. How will they start over?

Before she can delve into her doubts, the doctor was already calling her over.

"Yes?" Rachel asked, unsure because she had been spacing out for the last few minutes.

"She's still a little disoriented. There will be more questions but I will check on her again later." The kind looking woman with the tag Dr. Andrews on her coat said.

Rachel just smiled and nodded her thanks.

The doctor returned her smile and before leaving looked back at Rachel once more, "She's asking for you now."

Rachel slowly turned back to walk to Quinn's bedside. The blonde still had her eyes locked onto Rachel's. The hazel eyes were intense, looking into brown ones whose last traces of doubt and anxiousness had begun fading away. The brunette's lips quivered. Quinn was looking at her as if she could look into the chocolate eyes brimming with unshed tears forever.

The light green and the flecks of brown mixing together captivated Rachel. They bore into her soul, trapping her, making her Quinn's. But she didn't have any qualms about that. She was contented to be lost in Quinn.

"Rachel."

"Quinn."

They both spoke at the same time, eliciting a giggle from both of them. How many more clichés will there be before their whole ordeal was over?

Finally, Rachel just gave in, she almost ran over her steps in trying to get to Quinn as fast as she could. Only this time, there were no speeding cars to hit either of them, there were no Russell Fabrays that could separate them, and society did not exist because they were in their own bubble where only the two of them have the key.

Both of them had tears in their eyes when Rachel slowly eased into the side of the bed to carefully put her arms around Quinn. It was euphoric to be holding the blonde she's waited for since she was thirteen. And Quinn felt the same because her brunette's arms were around her, just because they can now. There were no words yet the meeting of two forlorn souls conveyed everything they needed to.

Rachel pulled back to look into Quinn's eyes, searching for any pain just in case she hurt her accidentally. "How do you feel?"

The blonde chuckled. Rachel was still her worrisome self.

"Sore." Quinn answered.

"Do you need me to call the doctor again? Do you want pain meds? Water? A massage? Or a—"

Quinn smiled while the brunette rambled on. And it suddenly hit her. There were no thunderclaps to accompany the drama. There were no flashing lights, no rain, no anything. The only evidence was the irregularly wild beating of her heart.

Rachel was here now. With her.

She just knew that they've wasted enough time. And maybe it's time they won against time. It's time to make up for twelve years, starting with forever.

It's time to stop running.

Her arms found their way to the column of Rachel's neck. And before the brunette could react, she was being pulled down to meet Quinn's lips.

It was a kiss for the sake of kiss. Their lips were barely moving, but it was there. What exactly 'it' was, they wouldn't be able to describe. All they knew were the emotions flooding them—love, happiness, contentment, and the feeling that finally the world agreed that it was time they won. It didn't matter to Quinn that she was still a little disoriented. It didn't matter to Rachel that there were a lot of things they needed to talk about.

Their kiss wasn't like in the movies. There wasn't tongue involved, they were barely moving. But they could feel everything. It was slow, unhurried, because now they have all the time in forever. It was not even the same as their first kiss. Nor was it the same when they were at the hotel just nights ago. It was just a meeting of lips, tame considering their ages.

But it was everything. It was the kiss of kisses. It was a confirmation that finally everything will be alright. It was the meeting of two lovers finding each other in the middle of a meadow, minus the meadow. It was a promise that after fulfilling the initial promise, more will come. It was the perfection of perfect.

It was love. Simply love.

When they separated, they both had their eyes closed, tears sliding down their cheeks. When they both finally gazed into each other's soul, they knew what they were staring at.

Home, finally.

Quinn was the first one to speak. "Lay here."

"And just forget the world?" Rachel answered her with a smile playing at the corner of her still slightly tingling lips.

The blonde had to laugh because of the musical reference. But she also had to smile, because come to think of it, it was kind of true.

"Yes, Rachel. Lie with me and just forget the world."

Suddenly, the white walls became less daunting. As Rachel settled in beside Quinn, the hospital was a little less spooky. The unwelcomed cold became less intense, replaced by the warmth of Quinn's body beside her.

Deep brown eyes once again locked with soft hazel ones. And Rachel had to say something.

"We missed watching the sunset."

Quinn's eyes were already closed, but there was smile at the corner of her mouth. "No little star, we didn't."

Rachel creased her brows in confusion. And Quinn opened one eye to look at her. The blonde laughed and pressed a kiss on the brunette's forehead, Rachel leaning into her.

"I'll explain when we wake up." Quinn said, closing her eye again. "I promise."

And Rachel had to smile as she pressed a kiss on her angel's shoulder. Because this time, it wouldn't take twelve years.

This time, they were home. Finally.

* * *

><p>It could have been hours, minutes or even seconds after they laid down together. When Rachel became conscious of her surroundings, she could hear hushed voices in the room. The lack of sleep and endless tears for almost two days took its toll on the singer. She was still a little tired but the sleep definitely helped.<p>

Opening her eyes slightly, she saw Santana and Quinn who seemed to both be having a serious conversation.

"Hey." She said after she opened her eyes fully but snuggled deeper into Quinn's shoulder blades.

"Hey baby." Quinn says while looking at her with deep hazel eyes.

Rachel blushed at the term of endearment. But her heart was also overwhelmed with the softness of Quinn's voice. She just found herself trying to hold back tears and in a staring contest with the blonde. It was a moment she had been dreaming of. To wake up in Quinn's arms, to look into her lover's eyes as she opened her own, to hear every sweet word being spoken by the slightly breathy but hypnotizing voice, it was all too much. And she was overwhelmed, feeling a big something squeezing in her heart. But this time it's not in pain. This time, it's caused by happiness—pure, unadulterated happiness.

"Geez, Berry. The girl called you a very unoriginal 'baby.'" Santana said, suddenly making her presence known. The Latina was rolling her eyes and imitating Quinn's husky pronunciation of 'baby.' "Don't come undone." She added with a smirk.

The diva was startled and a little bit embarrassed Santana caught her making gooey eyes at Quinn. So she felt her cheeks getting warmer and warmer while still trying to hide her face into the blonde's shoulders. Suddenly, she was shy Rachel. The things Quinn could do to her.

The woman beside her let out an amused chuckle at seeing Rachel flustered. When she finally looked up, the brunette saw her cast mate looking at her with a raised brow and also an amused smirk. And when she turned to Quinn, the blonde was looking at her with so much adoration that she felt her heart beating wildly again.

"Ay dios mio!" Santana exclaimed, pulling Rachel again from getting lost in the blonde with hazel eyes. "Blondie, will you stop making moon eyes at Berry. She looks like she's about to orgasm." The Latina shuddered as if to underline her point. "And I might have to scratch my eyes if I see that happen."

With the half repulsed and half amused voice of Rachel's cast mate, Quinn let out a loud belly laugh before burying her face into Rachel's hair and kissing the top of the singer's head. As soon as the diva recovered from the unusual shyness, she threw eye daggers at the Latina who just snickered.

"Shut it Santana!"

"Ha! You wish Berry!"

Quinn watched as the two women bickered with each other, fully contented in having Rachel in her arms once more. There were still a lot of things to talk about, but it was time that they claimed everything that they lost. It was a long time coming.

She reflected on the Latina's words before Rachel woke up.

_15 minutes ago_

_Quinn woke up at the sound of someone entering the room. She was a light sleeper. When she opened her eyes, she caught sight of Rachel smiling peacefully in even breathes beside her. Reaching to the brunette's side, she reached down to caress the soft cheeks. Rachel seemed to lean into her touch. And she had to smile because maybe even after everything that's happened, her little star also felt that a part of them was always held by the other. Whatever mojo it was, Quinn was thankful that a connection so intense that it gripped them existed._

_She looked up when she heard someone clear their throat._

_She saw someone with dark eyes gazing at her. Usually, she would be intimidated. But Rachel was in her arms, and with the brunette, she felt like everything was hers to conquer._

_She remembers seeing the same girl before. Her furrowed brows might have given away her confusion because the dark haired woman smiled softly and went to Quinn's side of the bed._

"_Santana. That's my name, if you're having trouble remembering." The woman said._

_Quinn's face cleared as some visions ran through her. Santana. Santana, Rachel's cast mate. She remembers now. She smiled at the fiery looking woman and just nodded, partly because her throat still hurt._

_Santana seemed to understand because she handed Quinn a glass of water with a straw. The blonde reached eagerly and sipped carefully with the Latina waiting patiently at the side of the bed._

"_So, how are you feeling?" Santana asked as Quinn put down the water indicating that she's had enough, and maybe it was time for them to talk._

"_A little sore, but I'll live. Thanks for dropping by."_

"_Listen, I don't know if coma patients go into shock or something, but can I be frank with you?" The Latina said calmly to which Quinn just stared in confusion. "I mean, I don't usually ask for permission or anything but you're still kind of a puddle now and the hobbit might kill me if she finds you a veggie when she wakes up."_

"_First, you don't call Rachel a hobbit. Second, yes you may say whatever you want to." Quinn says in an equally calm voice. Though she made it clear that she doesn't want her little star being called names._

"_Whoa," Santana says holding up both hands, "Calm your tits, blondie." Though the Latina smiles while she talked, "But I'm beginning to like you. You protect her."_

_Quinn just looked at Santana as if asking her to continue._

"_Rachel has been my friend since college." The Latina started. "And then after that, we were roommates for a while. And then cast mates right now." Santana started opening and closing her palms. Not in a threatening manner though, Quinn observes. It was just usual mannerism for someone who wasn't used to opening themselves. Quinn would know._

"_And if you ever tell her, I'll deny it to my last breath, but she's my best friend. I love her because she's kind of a troll that's already grown into me. But whatever." The woman had a fond smile while watching Rachel sleep. And Quinn was thankful to this seemingly bitchy woman because someone took care of her little star when she couldn't._

"_We always argue. And sometimes we would be at each other's throats because we both want everything too much." Quinn nodded, indicating that she's listening. "But Rachel is important to me. She was the one who always pulled my head out of my ass or pushed me off a cliff sometimes because there was no way I was doing the jump myself."_

_Santana looked into Quinn's eyes, conveying gratitude with a hint of a threat._

"_Rachel is important to me." The Latina repeats. "We don't really talk a lot. We don't have heart to heart talks like normal girls do. But we know to be there for each other when things go shitty." Dark eyes were still locked with unwavering hazel ones. "Hell, we have a dysfunctional relationship. But we understand each other, like there's this kumbaya connection between us." Santana smiled. "She has the ability to make people love her. Rachel is just one of those people who will grow to you no matter how annoying or bossy she can be at times. She is special."_

_Quinn smiled because everything Rachel's best friend had been saying was true. She looked at Santana expectantly, waiting for her to go on._

"_I don't know a lot about her past. But I know enough because she babbles a lot whenever she gets drunk. Always at the same day." Santana bowed her head to take a deep breath. "Always me to witness her at her most vulnerable."_

_Tears pooled at the side of hazel eyes. Rachel drunk every time the day approached. Maybe a part of her will never forgive herself and the past. Because she wasn't with Rachel. She was the cause of the brunette's misery. And the woman in front of her was the witness to every melt down. Quinn swallowed the lump that started to form in her throat. She knew that this needed to be said. More important than that, she needed to hear it._

_Santana pulled Quinn's attention as she stared at the ceiling to prevent the tears from falling. Quinn would know, she did it all the time, she's doing it now. "Somehow it always felt like she was waiting for something, you know?" The Latina looked at the blonde whose tears started to fall nonetheless. "And when she saw you that night at the bar, I saw something in her eyes that I've never seen before. That's when I knew that it was you. You were the blonde girl she was always talking about every time she was past the point of sobriety."_

_At that point, the Latina started gripping her thighs with more force than necessary. And Quinn was just staring at the ceiling. It was hard for two people who do not really know anything about each other than their first names to talk about their deepest secrets. But Quinn knew that it had to happen. Because Rachel Berry is special, Santana needed to grip her pants so hard that her knuckles were white just to keep the tears from falling. Because they were talking about Rachel Berry, the girl Quinn Fabray loved since she was fifteen, Quinn let the tears fall and listened to a complete stranger pour her heart out._

"_But when you opened your mouth, I saw the crushed look in Rachel's eyes." Quinn let out a strangled cry. She knew that Rachel was hurt, but to hear it was different. "And I resented you. You gave a spark in her eyes, held it in your hands, and then destroyed it at your fingertips."_

_Santana's voice was just above whisper, but her eyes said everything. She was wary of Quinn. But she was also willing to look past it for Rachel. "What I need you to know right now is how I saw Rachel in her dressing room, looking so desperate, looking like somebody kicked her to die. And I also need you to know that she stayed beside the same person who caused her so much grief. For two fucking days, she hardly slept. I don't think she even slept at all. And she missed a performance. Rachel never passes an opportunity to perform onstage."_

_Santana looked deep into Quinn's eyes, locking the hazel ones once more with dark ones._

"_And she did it all because of you." Their gazes were so intense, Quinn felt like it permeated the room. She was worried for a moment that it might wake Rachel. "I don't know if I will ever understand why she did what she did. But all I know is that it's because she loves you. What I need to know right now if you're in this a hundred percent. Rachel is the most forgiving person I know of, and because she loves you she might be willing to look past everything. But not me. It's my job to protect her."_

_Quinn holds the Latina's gaze, unwavering, showing that she will not back down._

"_So I'm telling you right now. Walk away if you cannot give her what she deserves. Because if you hurt her, I swear to all that is holy, I will hunt you down. And I will make you suffer a thousand more times than you made Rachel suffer. You will wish you were dead."_

_The atmosphere was eerie. Quinn could tell that Santana wasn't joking. But no matter how chilling Santana's threat was, it was not the time to back down. She might not deserve Rachel after everything that happened, but she will do anything for her little star. She is literally everything that made sense in Quinn's world._

_So Quinn smiled, and returned Santana's stare with equal fervour._

"_I love her. I will never deserver her. But for some insane reason, she thinks that it's okay to cuddle up with me and stay with me. And if this is what makes her happy, I will gladly stay beside her. I will never hurt her intentionally. Because if I do, I think knowing that I've hurt the most special person in my life is punishment enough." Quinn softened her eyes, but her voice was persistent, indicating her sincerity. "I love her."_

"_Good to know, blondie." Santana smiled softly, and then it was gone in an instant, replaced by a smirk. "The munchkin is waking up."_

Quinn was pulled out of her musings when the room became silent and two pairs of eyes looked at her expectantly, as if waiting for an answer.

"Uh, sorry Rach, I kind of spaced out. What was that?"

Rachel huffed and pouted at Quinn's inattention. But she giggled when Quinn pulled her side to kiss her on the lips, Santana making gagging noises at the side.

"I want you to watch my show when you're strong enough to go out." Rachel said while biting her lip.

Quinn smiled because of how adorable the girl looked.

"Of course, I'll watch you." Quinn pressed a playful kiss on Rachel's nose. "I will watch you every time you are up there."

Santana was once again making fake gagging noises while the two women cuddling in the bed just laughed.

"Okay, I'm outta here. I can only take so much sweetness to last me a lifetime." The Latina said, starting to stand up.

"Dramatic much?" Quinn teased.

"Don't think for a second that because you're in a hospital bed I won't beat you, blondie." Santana raised an eyebrow. But she was smiling, a smile that can even be considered as a kind one. Seeing Rachel happy with Quinn was enough at the moment. Though she wouldn't let them know that.

"Santana Lopez! You will do no such thing!" Rachel's horrified voice chimed, making the blonde beside her laugh.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bye midg—Berry and you too blondie." And with that, Santana was already gone.

Quinn and Rachel looked at each other only to burst into peals of laughter.

"What time is it?" Rachel asked suddenly.

"Just a few minutes after eleven. Why?"

"It's late. You should sleep."

"Really, Rach? We just slept, in case you forgot."

"Well, what do you want to do now? Are you hungry? I'm kind of tired but not really very sleepy. I blame Santana. Oh, do you need me to call the doctor—"

Rachel was cut off again when Quinn's lips met hers again for the second time that day. It was a stark contrast than the kiss they shared hours ago. This was needy. Quinn's tongue slowly slid inside Rachel's mouth, massaging every delectable surface of the brunette's mouth. Rachel moaned as she pulled Quinn flush into her, still careful not to disturb the bandages.

Their tongues continued the slow, sensual dance. Occasionally there will be moans only to be swallowed by the other. And every time the need for air came, they would nip each other's neck. Suck. Bite. Anything to replenish the burning in their lips. When they pulled back, they were both flushed and panting. Their lips were swollen, their clothes were mussed. But their eyes showed happiness. And love. Always love.

Rachel was the first one to speak. "Not that I'm complaining, because believe me, I'm not. But what was that for?"

Quinn sighed, and held Rachel's palms to kiss the tan knuckles.

"We have a lot of things to talk about. And I guess, I wanted to kiss you once more in case you decided that I was not worthy of you."

Rachel looked like she was about to cry. Because she was. Quinn's voice was full of sadness. It felt like the blonde actually believed that she was not worthy of Rachel. And Rachel knows there's a long way ahead to convince the blonde that she is more than enough for her. But the singer was willing to trudge down that road, because with Quinn holding her hand, she can face anything.

The brunette planted a gentle but firm kiss to the still swollen lips in front of her.

"There's a lot we need to talk about. But we don't have to talk about them right now." Rachel pulled back to gaze into unsure hazel eyes. "And just so we're clear, you're stuck with me now. No matter what you tell me, we will make it through. Together."

Quinn smiled tenderly because of how she felt the honesty in the brunette's voice. And even if she still doesn't quite believe it herself, she trusts that Rachel will still be beside her when she wakes up tomorrow.

"I love you."

It was so delicately spoken that Rachel almost missed it. But she heard, and tears begun to form. She hadn't imagines the words Quinn said. So she pulled the blonde once more for another searing kiss to express everything she felt.

Love.

"I love you too."

The smaller woman's voice was almost as faint as Quinn's. But Quinn hears. And her heart felt ready to explode. She didn't imagine Rachel's words at the pavement. It was real. It happened. And finally, they had each other.

"Sing to me?" Quinn asked softly.

Rachel had to smile. It was her favorite thing next to singing onstage. Singing to Quinn.

"Always. Any requests?"

"Anything. As long as you sing." Quinn said.

**Come closer, we're alone  
>And it chills me to the bone<br>I wish that I'd been there  
>To care, and carry you, carry you home<strong>

Rachel's voice started softly. It was not her usual singing voice. It was a tenderness reserved for only Quinn. And the blonde was contented to gaze into the eyes of the woman she loved. The only woman she will ever love. They had each other, not only for hours, not only for summer, but for as long as Rachel will have her. It was everything.

Home. It was a recurring theme of the day.

**You're not the only one  
>Isolated and undone<br>So many miles to go,  
>Well I know, I know<strong>

They gazed into each other's eyes. Somehow after all those years, everything and nothing changed. There was still the inexplicable spark that was only reserved for each other. But this time, they have every shot in forever. Because they were free, finally.

Yes, Quinn still had so many monsters to face. There were truths she was able to hold back because she kept blocking them through all those years. But with Rachel by her side, life seemed to have started again. Blood started to coat her veins again. Her heart pumped once more, it was beating again. She could feel again. And with life, she knows that reality was inevitable. But Rachel will be there to hold her this time. And with her little star's promise, she could fight anything. Even Russell Fabray's shadow.

**I know you think that you've been down,  
>You never know when things will turn around, turn around<br>I know you think that you've been down,  
>You never know when things will turn around, turn around<strong>

Rachel knew that there was something broken inside Quinn. She felt it at the bar. She felt it the hotel. But when Quinn came running at her two nights ago, she knew then that it wasn't irreparable. There was hope left. And she will fight for her blonde angel. She will fight whatever monster that was holding Quinn back. She will fight them with Quinn. And she knows, this time, they will win.

Her soft voice continued to convey everything she wanted to say that simple words could never capture. Her music starts where her words left. And if it was any indication, Quinn's equally intense gaze told her that they will be side by side.

Finally.

**Come closer, we're alone  
>And I know<br>You feel so helpless  
>I know, I know<strong>

It's been so long. Twelve years, if one is into specifics, since Quinn let anyone in. The only one who was ever brave enough to break down the walls was Rachel. She was the only one strong enough to counter Quinn's sadness and stubbornness. Maybe she will be the only one forever. And Quinn was okay with that. She found everything she needed was in her arms right then, looking into Rachel's eyes while she sang.

It was an invitation of sorts. Quinn knew that Rachel was asking her. To be let in once more. And Quinn had to smile because there is no 'once more.' Rachel was already in.

She always was.

**I know you think that you've been down,  
>You never know when things will turn around, turn around<br>I know you think that you've been down,  
>You never know when things will turn around, turn around<strong>

Tears started to burn at the back of Quinn's eyelids. She let them flow freely, though. There was no need to cover up. With Rachel, she can just be. The warm liquid made its way from her eyes to the pristinely white pillows under her head. But before there was more, she felt Rachel's trembling hands gently wiping away her tears.

Quinn saw Rachel's own eyes brimming with tears. But she doesn't wipe them, afraid that the small brunette would stop singing. She was scared that a small movement would break the trance they were in and she would find herself lying alone in the pavement.

Rachel seemed to have sensed Quinn's hesitation. But she doesn't stop her song. Instead, she just gripped Quinn's hand and shut her eyes as the lyrics of the song continued to flow out of her perfectly.

**I know you think that you've been down,  
>You never know when things will turn around, turn around<strong>

The singer only opened her eyes when she felt a pair of lips resting on her eye and then switching to the other. And right at that moment, she had to control herself not to break into uncontrollable sobs because it was an answer of sorts. Quinn was slowly letting her pull out the memories. Quinn was allowing herself back to life, to living. Quinn was trying not to be afraid.

This time, with Rachel.

Quinn was telling her little star that she was willing to believe. Because she trusts Rachel, she will try life and choose her little brunette.

It was enough.

**December,**

They smiled at each other because of the small inaccuracy at the month. But it didn't matter.

**I remember,  
>We smiled for a while<strong>

Rachel continued, singing ever so softly. Their eyes were wet, but they were drowning in happiness. They deserved it. It was time that they become happy again.

**In September,**

They both had to stifle a laugh as Rachel changed the lyrics to fit their life.

**Together we'll climb  
>And I'll carry you home<strong>

As the final words of the song were sung, Quinn surged forward and Rachel met her.

It was clear. In the middle of the moonlight. Two hearts exchanged another promises of kind. This time not twelve years were at stake. This time, it was forever.

_The answer is yes, Quinn Fabray, I will always be there for you._

_The answer is yes, Rachel Berry, I will allow you to save me._

And as their lips burned with so much intensity, two words burned at the back of their minds.

Home.

And love.

Always love.

* * *

><p><strong>AN 3: Holy cow! I completed that in one sitting after drinking a can of energy drink. So I guess you guys should start sending me cartons of energy drink from now on, huh? Just kidding. But seriously, did you guys like it? Anything? Did it make up for all the angst you've put up with? REVIEW.**

**A/N 4: Guys! Vote for Faberry at the E! Top Couples Poll. Okay? Because there's a high chance that they will be interviewed if they win. Imagine…Faberry will win and Achele will be interviewed. Epicness will ensue. VOTE! VOTE! VOTE!**

**A/N 5: The musical reference that Quinn smiled about is "Chasing Cars" by Snow Patrol. And of course the song at the end is "Carry You Home" by Nashville Skyline which was introduced to me by agronskysarfati's fanmix.**


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